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I’m Dasani with the drip

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

DO YOU REMEMBER THE 21st NIGHT OF SEPTEMBER #kaleydoes

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

If you don’t like men’s feet… do not go to a bar at LOZ 🫣 #theyletthedogsout

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

The exact moment things start to look up and you start to feel happier is when your check engine light comes on

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

My mental health is doing parkour inside my head. VERY FINE LINE between self care and self destruction and I’m walking that tight rope DAILY

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

I’m not downplaying the tragedy that everyone witnessed last night but can we take a moment to recognize that teachers go through this… often.

[Andy Nesbitt @anezbitt]

Imagine a coworker/friend of yours needed CPR for 9 minutes in your office and then after your boss was like - take 5 minutes, everyone. and then get back to work.

That's basically what the NFL just tried to do. Total garbage.

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

The NFL/ESPN expecting the players to play after that last night is giving the same energy as when I watched my student overdose in my office, be taken out on a stretcher, & then went back to teach the rest of the day. Glad the players got to go home & process their emotions.

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

What part of the menstrual cycle makes you a SJW? Asking for a friend

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

Sub shortage? Let’s start assigning politicians to cover classes like it’s jury duty 🤭

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

@abbyj_sonner Lay off, my dogs can’t hear and I needed to share my thoughts

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

Make sure my biography has a chapter on how frustrating 7 highway is to drive on. Thx

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

Y’all ever had cramps so bad you start googling symptoms of toxic shock syndrome???

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

First period of being 30… I’m straight up not having a good time. #cramps

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

I feel like more people need to know this… toaster ovens are more oven than toaster.

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

Can I put eating a taco while driving on the highway as a strength on my résumé???? I hit 80 mph and didn’t spill any meat

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

Ya know the feeling when your sibling got in the shower when you were just about to but you got distracted so now you can’t? The adult equivalent to that is when your neighbor starts to mow when you were about to but now you can’t because your a social recluse in your hood

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

“Where do you get martinis? Like Taco Bell?” - Ali Cavanaugh

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

I mean it’s really just terrible to watch a TV show/movie completely butcher a good book

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

The way Cody Rigsby still flirts with me while I’m looking a damn mess on my peloton

[RMJ @reneerapp]

happy valentines day I’m the only bitch I’ll ever love

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

Wide awake at 4 am… depressed… already miss watching the chiefs play.

[🍌 @tyrANNAsarous]

I want a guy to approach me at the bar and be like damn girl the way you eat Brussel sprouts is hot