Tyler Mills

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

no one:

wall in a suburban home: Fall in LOVE. Dream BIG. Tell STORIES. Believe in MAGIC. Yell at a STRANGER. Drink 14 cups of COFFEE. Forgive even when it's hard and Lauren was WRONG. It’s wine o’clock somewhere unless you're MOM because you're in RECOVERY. Travel

[Tyler Mills @tyredmills]

“So...Louis Vuitton is Gucci?”

- my mother

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

my uber driver just told me when he was 16, his mom cooked him soup and the next day he lost his turtle and he was like “mom where’s my turtle?” and she said “you ate him last night” and IM SCREAMING?????

“at first i was mad, but he taste good”

[DRACO ☆ @_ayosworldd]

When you bite into a Krispy Kreme glazed donut

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

the human seems distracted. so i put my paw on their knee. and now they know. that whatever it is. we’re in it together

[Dale Elliott @ChevyElliott]

My first hour of watching baking shows on Netflix: these people are so talented, how do they pick a winner?

My 23rd hour: idc how good her fondant work is, if kathy doesn't add more buttercream to that mixture her consistency is going to be all off and her cake pops will be shit

[⌬ anna davis! ⌬ @radscientist_]

I just walked into my room holding the remote and a glass of chocolate milk and I meant to toss the remote into my bed but instead I tossed the glass of chocolate milk onto my bed

[Ryan Mecum @MecumHaiku]

Are you a newborn? Or perhaps you are over 92 years old? Well, Nat King Cole COULD NOT CARE LESS about wishing you a Merry Christmas.

[BBB @Brandenflakes]

thanksgiving is behind us now

[Bubblegum XCX @bumwees]

Whoa Black Betty
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Boat belt wacky
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Black Betty had a child
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Hatchback badly tiled
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[🍑 @PEACHYBLACKG0RL]

disney: *remakes a film*

grown ass adults on this app: THERE 👏 BETTER 👏 NOT 👏 BE 🙅‍♂️ ANY KIDS 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️🚫🚫 IN THE THEATER 🎥 THIS IS EXCLUSIVELY A GROWN 🗣 FOLKS 🗣 EVENT 😫👌I WILL THROW ‼️‼️A KID DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN ☀️ IF I SEE JUST ONE 😤😡😤

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

gooooob morning. it is the spooky day

[Mi @remigiomia]

I went through the chick fil a drive through bawling and the girl asked me if I wanted a chocolate or vanilla milkshake. And I was like no I ordered a sweet tea and she goes “no honey you need a milkshake”

Service: unmatched

[Luke Mones @LukeMones]

DENTAL HYGIENIST: your teeth and gums are moments from death. Quit your job so you can floss 16 times an hour. I hate you!
DENTIST: looks good!

[Tyler Mills @tyredmills]

I JUST BOUGHT A HOUSE

[Tyler Mills @tyredmills]

i want bugs to respect my personal space