Sometimes you just gotta lay in your bed and stare at the ceiling and talk to God about everything. Tell him that life feels heavy and tell him that you trust him even though nothing makes sense right now.
in order to become a better person, you must first realize how horrible you really are. not in the dramatic sense, but in the quiet ways you sabotage yourself, repeat unhealthy patterns, hurt people who care about you, or tolerate what wounds you. you cannot grow if you keep pretending you're innocent in the story you created.