eggs with no salt

why am I allowed to have internet access

[Sok-It @javasok]

You get: 1 hour of extra sleep

You lose: the will to live after the sunsets at 4pm

[naman @deleuzesionaI]

by age 23 you should have at least two tattoos that you don’t regret but still make u kinda go “hmmm”

[eggs with no salt @uhnooooooo]

Crying before work really just fuck w your whole day don’t it

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

By the time you’re in your late 20’s you should have:

1. An air fryer
2. A Caffeine dependency
3. An SSRI
4. Reverted back to everything you loved aged 13-17 as a coping mechanism

[clintoris @clintoris]

Blocking him isn’t enough I need to watch his hairline recede

[Henrik Blix @henrikontheweb]

I can’t explain it but I’m afraid Rami Malik can see me through the tv

[leigh @leighgladwin]

There should be an option on Mario Kart to just have a drive around. Sometimes a girl doesn’t want to race. Sometimes she wants to have a slow and steady drive.

[eggs with no salt @uhnooooooo]

Is watching the news just depressing because I’m old enough to understand what most of it means now? Or is it just that depressing.

[Cursed Posts ➐ @CursedPost]

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering

[eggs with no salt @uhnooooooo]

Today was the first day I ever hyped up a drink i make and the lady got it and said it was the best one she’s ever had 🥺

[jenny 🎀 wife time @toukomaruu]

"dont believe social media, no one is posting their failures" speak for yourself. one thing goes wrong in my life and im picking up my phone to tweet it out immediately

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

Nothing more embarrassing than a grown man setting an alarm for 9 am. You should have been at the steel mill 3 hours ago.

[clarabelle 🪩✨ @cbell_cbell]

Coffee gives me anxiety but so does literally everything else so stick dat kettle on

[abby govindan @abbygov]

“I’m an empath” -the worst person you have ever met

[connor Wood @fibulaa]

Don’t really drunk text but I’ll have two coffees on an empty stomach and send the most humiliating message of my life before 10am