davide crepaldi

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

http://t.co/6GoaAQjuMT what i don't understand is that a pope can choose his own name but there's never been a Pope Batman

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

Congrats to Lindsay Lohan for successfully portraying what happens to mean girls after high school. http://t.co/f3VPV0aTz9

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

A girls diet always starts tomorrow... http://t.co/DMc6phBI7K

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

Thursday is "date night", when I force my family to eat all the expired food in our fridge. http://t.co/qn2qZOE0az

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

All the dads with weekend custody are crowding up the donut shop. http://t.co/IsGMtzEIHK

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

"I liked small butts. I was lying." - Sir Mix-A-Lot's teary deathbed confession http://t.co/5G2aGpy0nJ

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

http://t.co/gxVCWXSJJc Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt?

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/2ra7h6gScL

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

http://t.co/AdvAAnHQ65 Ran out of Manila envelops. Off to the Philippines.

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence? http://t.co/iWRWZ6jZ1B

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

http://t.co/MhIG6CWZLH I'm writing a horror movie about realizing that I left my phone at home.

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

http://t.co/whBQMuU2 My kids are asking to be fed and cared for and stuff. This parenting thing is bullshit.

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

A homeless guy just gave me some change. Note to self: When in public, wear pants. http://t.co/FVe73xQz

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

"So, is there a MRS. A-Z?" - Lady hitting on Jason Mraz http://t.co/PtCLwx9U

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

I'm doomed to always think of the best comebacks the next day when the baby isn't even around. http://t.co/nCxjgWPI

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

http://t.co/uwwV3C1M Don't put all my eggs in one basket? Nice try, basket industry.

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

If I went house hunting I'd take a really big gun. http://t.co/w188SWi9

[davide crepaldi @uilm]

monselice