THE ANSWER IS NO

Answering your questions on Newfoundland | Positively covered in the House of Commons | Creators of the word Bluffoon™ | ©2022 TAIN

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Can the Federal Minister responsible for Seniors and Shameless East-Coast Photo-Ops expect us to go a little easier on him after he gave our foolish little account a plug while dressing-down that juicearse Poilievre?

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Are there many obscure motorized machines left that some needledick Newfoundlander hasn’t been nailed for being obliterated on?

[RCMP Newfoundland and Labrador @RCMPNL]

Burin Peninsula RCMP arrests steamroller operator for impaired driving, refusing breath samples - https://t.co/Dt6tofAIrF

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Will it be long before NTV descends on Dildo angling to secure some hot takes on Jimmy Kimmel’s forced exit from the airwaves—no doubt sparking a pointless petition to get their ‘Honorary Mayor’ back on, in hopes he might just mention the town’s name again?

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Does the top-five provincial election issues list for Bell Island residents include anything besides: more ferries, more ferry sailings, more ferry services, more ferry staff and—once again—more ferries?

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Would it take anything more than Mary Brown’s pledging to donate five cents from every ‘family feast’ to the fictitious ‘Human Fund’ to send all-hands into another full-on feeding frenzy—clogging every drive-thru, artery, and social-media channel along the way?

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Do Newfoundlanders have any attention-span to waste on the amateur-hour municipal popularity contest undercard—now that the main event’s been announced?

[VOCM News @VOCMNEWS]

Election Writ Dropped, NLers Heading to the Polls October 14
https://t.co/QStTy7o8Kb

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Is there any photo that better captures the chaotic scene when a born-and-bred Newfoundlander admits they can’t be bothered with pea soup, battered cod, or a succulent feed of fatty salt meat?

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Will anything top Newfoundland ratings for the upcoming episode of the ‘Amazing Race’ around Gander’s many aviation disaster-related memorials—unless NTV drops a full, uncut feed of the FFAW losin their fuckin shit at the French fellas offloading sea cucumber in Grand Bank?

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Is there any point in Jim ‘Father Time’ Dinn stopping his unfulfillable election promises at a tuition roll-back and $22 minimum wage—when he could just as easily toss free studded tires, Costco renewals, and fall snowblower tune ups into the mix?

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Is the stretch around LeMarchant, St. Clare, and Rickett’s Road anywhere near as safe—or as scenic—as it looked in this aerial shot from the fuckin sixties?

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Did that so-called ‘Corpse Bride’ marriage at ‘Mom’s Little White Chapel’ in Mobile spark a stampede for more weird-ass weddings—like the crowd up the shore was hoping for?

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Is any wonder why construction ON Pitt’s Memorial has been going on longer than the whining over tuition costs AT Memorial?

[NTV News @NTVNewsNL]

Closure of cloverleaf overpass rescheduled https://t.co/ri1FHjaPLN

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Are ‘tossing them quietly in a black bag destined for the dump’ or ‘straight into the nearby woods’ included as viable alternatives—despite their long, storied use here?

[The Telegram @StJohnsTelegram]

Wondering how to recycle your old electronics? Here's what you need to know https://t.co/PNJOyCoPkX

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Do any of the party leaders gunning for Premier give a single solitary shit about the toothless demands coming from MUN’s student union—especially the whole, ‘freeze our tuition, fix everything, and don’t forget more student aid for foreigners’ foolishness?

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Will we wait long before a new, never-ending play is being staged to showcase how great Gander and the staff at Sinbads Hotel were for taking in all the Amazing Race Canada staffers?

[VOCM News @VOCMNEWS]

Gander Featured on Episode of Amazing Race Canada

https://t.co/1IBTt2PqQW

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Has any roadway in Newfoundland received more unnecessarily expensive and annoying road work than that fuckin Pitts Memorial Drive—outside of the annual ‘let’s keep our party-donating contractors happy’ repaving work on the Outer Ring?

[NTV News @NTVNewsNL]

Ramp closures on Cloverleaf Overpass on Pitts Memorial Drive today and Friday
https://t.co/DVB2dFgxNt

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Do the so-called ‘sales’ being served up in the Bidgood’s flyer get the same sort of going over as their daily Facebook posts on the people casually robbing them?

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Can any sensible person figure how the fuck permanent Placentia mayoral candidate Bernie ‘Pretty Shady’ Power walked with an ‘absolute discharge’ after being convicted of stealing shit from Costco—this after the lucky bastard previously skated on a drunk driving charge?

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Has there been any update on the supposedly dangerous. tarps-off ginger who’s ‘still on the lam’?

[VOCM News @VOCMNEWS]

Red-Haired, Shirtless Suspect in Bumperless Civic Still On The Lam
https://t.co/LIYJBkdTLV

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Do Newfoundlanders give a single casual shit about Carney’s vague-as-fuck $80 million tariff relief funding for businesses finding new markets���or any funding being announced for ‘Atlantic Canada’, not ‘Newfoundland’, and only Newfoundland?

[The Telegram @StJohnsTelegram]

$80 million of the newly announced tariff relief funding is coming to Atlantic Canada, PM Mark Carney says during St. John's visit, but didn't break down how much NL would receive https://t.co/fi8g2W2p9n

[THE ANSWER IS NO @uknowtheanswer]

Will the Province of Newfoundland succeed in implementing ‘A new standardized hospital referral expansion will help streamline the process for patients waiting for joint replacements and cataract surgeries’, that the local media just takes their word on?

[The Telegram @StJohnsTelegram]

A new standardized hospital referral expansion will help streamline the process for patients waiting for joint replacements and cataract surgeries https://t.co/LRtP1wj9W6