BEST FUNNY

U can like my funny tweets and enjoy. If you RT & fav them.

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

ME: so it's called the death star

DARTH VADER: yes

ME: even though everyone thinks it looks like a moon

*darth vader starts using the force to crush my penis*

ME: ok cool death star

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

Ever wonder what 'weed' stands for?

W smoke
E weed
E very
D day

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

*someone drives the speed limit and is being a safe driver*

me: OHHHHMMYYYYYFUUUCCCJKIIINNNNGODDDDDD GOOOOOOOO!!!!

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

i only have 3 moods:
1. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. ???????????????????
3. ZzZZzzzZzzzZzZzZ

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

“alcohol is toxic for you”

first of all, so is the relationship ur in

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

If you haven't seen me drunk, we're probably not friends.

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

parents: when u turn 18, ur an adult u make ur own decisions

*turns 18*

parents: as long as u live under my roof ur gnna follow my rules

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

“Daaam you reply quick you bored?”

First of all I am in love with you ..

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

you glow differently when you're actually happy..

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

Me when i spell a big word correctly without autocorrect

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

2018: hi

me after being traumatized by 2016 and 2017:

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

this is me

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

me: i don't even care. i'm not going to talk about this anymore.
...
me: and you know what else? [2000 word rant]

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

YOU KNOW YOU’RE TALKING SHIT TO YOUR FRIENDS OVER TEXTS WHEN YOU CANT STOP SMILING AT YOUR PHONE LMAOOOOO

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

"I'm not like the other guys"
"I won't hurt you"
"I want to be with you forever"
"I love you" https://t.co/3efA0sUmUT

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

it’s so hard hiding the truth from your friends

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

me: *apologizes for being distant* *apologizes for being affectionate* *apologizes in general* *apologizes for apologizing*

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

dog: woof

me: i would die for you

[BEST FUNNY @ulikefunny]

Study tip: laminate your notes so your tears roll right off.