Little Black Dress

Grammar Nazi. Caffeine addict. Dog nut. Corporate slave.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Little Black Dress @uma8987]

@DrDavidVernon Respectfully, having all books of the same height - did that just happen or is that a deliberate arrangement?

[Little Black Dress @uma8987]

@mid_day What a sham!
Mumbaikars take forever to navigate BKC, while the govt. and authorities scam us year after year with potholed roads and abysmal infrastructure in the city. And then they'll charge US for being stuck at a place coz of their poor urban planning!

[Blood Donors India @BloodDonorsIn]

#Bhubaneswar B+ #blood donor needed at IGKC Multispecialty Hospital, Bhubaneswar.
Contact: 7077261814. via @I_m_Kadambini

[History Photographed @HistoryInPics]

In 1899, Nikola Tesla set up a lab in Colorado Springs to explore wireless energy and high-voltage electricity.

One of the most iconic images from that time shows him calmly sitting beneath giant arcs of electricity—a double exposure meant to showcase his revolutionary experiments.

Tesla’s work there produced artificial lightning, lit lamps wirelessly, and even captured strange signals he believed might be from space.

Though the lab was later dismantled, his groundbreaking research helped shape the future of electrical engineering.

[Sudarsan Pattnaik @sudarsansand]

I am honored to be the first Indian artist to receive the ‘Fred Darrington' British Sand Master Award at Sand World 2025, a prestigious international sand art festival in Weymouth, UK. This recognition is a testament to my 10-foot sand sculpture of Lord Ganesha, symbolizing the universal message of 'World Peace'.

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

Can someone explain how a great white gets all those battle scars? What is it battling with?

[Keh Ke Peheno @coolfunnytshirt]

Amazing, simple yet innovative!

A wheelchair that allows users to stand upright, developed in India!

[Raghu @IndiaTales7]

3. People going crazy and passing out just from Michael standing still

[Saakshi Jaisingh @SaakshiJaisingh]

@DMDCAlwar @BhajanlalBjp @KumariDiya @DrPremBairwa @RajCMO @RajGovOfficial @artikashuklaias 3/
The legal section deliberately delayed the file and pushed for unnecessary litigation despite the verdict being final and binding under Section 21(2) of the Legal Services Authorities Act, 1987.

[Saakshi Jaisingh @SaakshiJaisingh]

@DMDCAlwar @BhajanlalBjp @KumariDiya @DrPremBairwa @RajCMO @RajGovOfficial @artikashuklaias 4/ Repeated appeals to the Commissioner haven’t helped. This delay serves no purpose except to harass citizens who rightfully own the property. Urging @DMDCAlwar to step in. Justice delayed is justice denied. 🙏
#CorruptionExposed
@jagograhakjago @Alwar #nagarnigam #alwar

[Saakshi Jaisingh @SaakshiJaisingh]

@DMDCAlwar @BhajanlalBjp @KumariDiya @DrPremBairwa @RajCMO @RajGovOfficial @artikashuklaias 2/ The plot was bought in 1990, and in 2023 we applied for the lease deed transfer. Lok Adalat ruled in our favor in Feb 2024, but Nagar Nigam Alwar has stalled the process endlessly since April 2024.

[Saakshi Jaisingh @SaakshiJaisingh]

1/
@DMDCAlwar
Case No. 106810: A simple request to transfer the lease deed in our name has been pending for over a year. Despite a Lok Adalat verdict in our favor, officials continue to delay. 🧵

@BhajanlalBjp @KumariDiya @DrPremBairwa @RajCMO @RajGovOfficial @artikashuklaias

[HOW THINGS WORK @HowThingsWork_]

The cable organisation at this concert 🔥

It's like a highway of cables! 😂

https://t.co/flTgELTJO1

[The Times Of India @timesofindia]

At 59 years old, #DonnaJeanWilde has set a new #GuinnessWorldRecord for most push-ups completed by a woman in one hour.

She achieved an incredible 1,575 push-ups, exceeding the previous record.

Know more 🔗https://t.co/NiflK8KKnn

[Little Black Dress @uma8987]

After the first image, I regretted opening this thread!

[Epic Maps 🗺️ @theepicmap]

Looking at the world through a microscope 🧵

1. Grains of salt under a microscope

[Visa_IND @Visa_IND]

Shri @gssjodhpur, Hon. Union Minister for Culture and Tourism, Government of India, unveils Visa and @Tripadvisor’s International Travelers’ Pick 2024 in the presence of @DrPramodPSawant, Hon. Chief Minister, Goa at the annual @FhraiO Convention, Goa!
#FHRAIConvention

[Gajendra Singh Shekhawat @gssjodhpur]

Pleased to launch the Visa-Tripadvisor “International Traveller’s Pick 2024” sticker at the FHRAI 54th Annual Convention in Goa yesterday.

This curated list that showcases the best of hotels & restaurants for and by travelers visiting India is a commendable effort to highlight the appeal of our hospitality industry to tourists from across the world.

[Cycle Chain Shankar @dakuwithchaku]

BMS app to Indians with 370598 people in the queue to book tickets

[Pavan Desai 🇮🇳 @PavanDesai96]

IRCTC Tatkal service to BookMyShow 🙂

#BookMyShow #Coldplay