U. N. Owen

The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest.

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

... operated by green humanoid aliens with beady eyes to very little success. (3/3) https://t.co/MLai93uUOl

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

This long suffering series finally ends where, spoiler alert, the big bad who died was a clone and the real big bad who is still alive, the big bad’s granddaughter kills his clone’s apprentice, only to be brought back, ... (1/3) #movievideogamegame @TheValleyfolk

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

... then the big bad kills his granddaughter, before being brought back by her grandfather’s clone’s apprentice which she just brought back and ultimately have the apprentice die while trying to stop of a planet full of ships unfortunately built and tested by you and ... (2/3)

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

https://t.co/EJ5VGXuxtP

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

Tom Cruise tries to save the world with a super sketchy Superman while chasing down plutonium cores across the world but ultimately fails and leads to the battle for the Hoover Dam by mobster Chandler Bing and the New California Republic. @TheValleyfolk #movievideogamegame

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

Sees MI-5 on Amazon Prime. Sounds like a good idea to watch Mission Impossible. Starts movie. Confused when everyone is talking in a British accent and Jon Snow is the lead.

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

@Leya_si

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

Found some coffee that may be to your liking @therydogg13 #coffee #bourbon

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

Happy New Year! #NewYear2021 #limerick

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

Tis the season of @SnoopDogg looking dapper
Dropping lyrical rhymes that are bigger and badder
Lightin’ a blaze
Lovin’ the holidays
Because @SnoopDogg is a great wrapper
#Christmas #pun #limerick

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

Tis the season of putting spirits on riser
And listening to the chief medical advisor
Before starting his task
Kris Kringle uses a mask
He washes his hands and uses Santa-izer
#Christmas #pun #limerick

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

As the 25th of December draws near
In an unseasonably warm time of the year
A change in weather
Is suddenly wetter
Cupid’s husband tells her, “It looks like rain, dear.”
#Christmas #pun #limerick

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

All dressed up in haute culture clothes
Frosty took the time to strike a pose
When the carrot drops
Into clown foam props
An embarrassed Frosty then had to pick his nose
#Christmas #pun #limerick

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

In the land north of the Great Lakes
Snowmen dream of eating delicious cakes
But in their hearts
Their day always starts
With a hearty breakfast bowl of snowflakes
#Christmas #pun #limerick

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

December brings many frozen Canucks
With cars and reindeer trying not to get stuck
But Santa always honours
Rudolph and Donner
Because they are Kris Kringle’s star bucks
#Christmas #pun #limerick

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

Olaf is actually quite clever and sly
Because he can spell “Icy” in a single try
With coals above his nose
His head may have froze
But the snowman simply says, “I see why.”
#Christmas #pun #limerick

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

You know what makes me feel incredibly festive? A holiday hand strainer #Christmas

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

Tis the season of holiday joy and glee
And Kris Kringle’s doctorate degree
With bearded neck
Favourite subject?
Of course Santa loved to learn chemistree
#Christmas #pun #limerick

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

A group of three travelling monsieur
Did bring gold and frankincense for him and her
After a brief delay
What did they say?
The wisemen continued with “Wait, there’s myrrh”
#Christmas #pun #limerick

[U. N. Owen @un__owen]

Sending holiday cheer is my tradition
With poetry and puns is my mission
This candy cane
Is a money drain
Because it was in mint condition
#Christmas #pun #limerick