Kyle Malcolm "Uncle Donut" Andrew

I write things at proud uncle of everybody. he/him

[The Dad @thedad]

Me: How’s the water heater looking? I don't know how many more cold showers my family can handle.

Plumber: Buddy, you're in some hot water.

Me:

Plumber:

Me: Is that good news or bad news?

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

I just misspelled “anxiety” and my phone auto-corrected to “an idiot” which, ok, but you don’t have to say it.

[Kyle Malcolm "Uncle Donut" Andrew @uncle_donut42]

minor spoiler: this is a major plot point in my series

so please buy my books

well, first, represent me (#amquerying) then sell my books to a publisher, then you can buy them, please and thank you.

I will use the proceeds to spoil my cats. They are very cute.

[The Dad @thedad]

What's the best way to tell my kid that the rock they found isn't that important? That they will find hundreds... possibly thousands of "cool rocks" in their lifetime, and they don't need to be collected? Please. My house is full of rubble.

[Kyle Malcolm "Uncle Donut" Andrew @uncle_donut42]

@disneymom1126 Both! Your talent starts the story, your skill finishes it. Best news is that they can both be developed and practiced.

[Kyle Malcolm "Uncle Donut" Andrew @uncle_donut42]

@MavenOfMayhem Congratulations!!! So happy for you!!!! Living authentically is indescribable, an experience everybody deserves. It’s so wonderful to see this for you.

[Damien Lee @DamienLeeVoice]

Instead of a live laugh love sign my house has a sign that says

"𝓘'𝓶 𝓶𝓮𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓭. 𝓘 𝓶𝓮𝓭𝓲𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓭. 𝓘 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓫𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓭."

[satyronmars.bsky.social @SatyrOnMars]

psa

[Kyle Malcolm "Uncle Donut" Andrew @uncle_donut42]

@Softapocalypses It literally has the word plant in it, that means it’s automatically healthy

[Kyle Malcolm "Uncle Donut" Andrew @uncle_donut42]

@thedad Was?

[Kyle Malcolm "Uncle Donut" Andrew @uncle_donut42]

@Softapocalypses That’s the best thing of today!! Fantastic work!!!

[Kyle Malcolm "Uncle Donut" Andrew @uncle_donut42]

As one who is ten million years old, I think this has a solid chance of working

[Skyler Higley @skyler_higley]

All we gotta do is tell conservatives that the climate is transitioning and they’ll try to stop it

[Kyle Malcolm "Uncle Donut" Andrew @uncle_donut42]

The Twilight movie came out fifteen years ago.

Don’t forget to take some aspirin for your back and your fiber supplement today.

[Jess Leigh @itsjessandart]

Goodnight lovelies,

And remember:

[Kyle Malcolm "Uncle Donut" Andrew @uncle_donut42]

@NotTheClick Please be careful with the portals, Click!! This timeline is weird enough.

Also I need thirty four of these, six thousand candles, a large mirror, and various herbs of unknown potency. Please don’t ask why.

[aaaaaron☢ 18+ @aaaaaron122]

this is so much funnier in my head

[Kyle Malcolm "Uncle Donut" Andrew @uncle_donut42]

@StephenKing Never one to pass up a silly haiku opportunity:

Twitter Twitter twit
Twit Twitter Twitter Twitter
Twitter Twitter, twits

[Kyle Malcolm "Uncle Donut" Andrew @uncle_donut42]

I kind of love this idea.