Danny Undead

I jizz blue Powerade. Danny Undead on all platforms.

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Dudes be performative schizoposting. Y’all not crazy fr just horny. Guy like me has already forgotten about the existence of the internet. I’m in the woods carving arrows into trees that point in the opposite direction of the trail. I’m doing my laundry buck naked at the W

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

She play house on my peewee till I’m herman send tweet

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Pooping hard in the gender neutral bathroom at Ludlow house to assert dominance. I am a lion amidst a herd of hipster gazelles.

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

They hate to see a young bull with a 5 star Uber rating winning

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Opening Pandora’s box (4-5 beers) and receiving divine punishment (lying about basketball opinions to middle-aged strangers)

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

The TikTok shop is a new stage of capitalism I just bought a $90 bird feeder what the fuck

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Also Goku is Mexican and Sailor Moon is probably Armenian or some shit eat my boogers nerds idgaf

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

The best part about OPLA is watching lame weebs that bitched about the “authenticity” of every other live action anime cry about POC actors playing POC characters. Usopp is not Italian you are 45 years old kys

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

@mattxiv This literally happened to me?? Stop reposting this it’s incredibly insensitive

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Y’all I’m running out of excuses for being late to work

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Im a man in the same sense that aioli is mayonnaise. Like it’s technically true but there’s definitely other mysterious forces at play here.

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Absolutely wild that mushrooms are a regular ass food. Like some of them can kill you instantly and some make you trip balls. Imagine if it was a different vegetable. Like you’re chilling with your boy and he won’t shut the fuck up about how he’s been microdosing broccoli.

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Accidentally disliked the iMessage link to an “ADHD tips” TikTok my mom sent me. I have been written out of the will.

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Do not invite me to your fuckass wedding I hate weddings they always throw rice and you’re not allowed to keep ANY of it!! I just want a small ziplock bag of rice please it’s just a little bit your stupid toddler niece is throwing this shit like it’s free please I’m so hungry

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Oh you have a Britta? Let me guess, you’re putting water in it? Yeah that’s what I fucking thought. I’m filtering all types of sinister unheard of shit. Mystery liquids ya dig? I jammed a half pound of 80/20 ground beef in that bitch last week. All that came out was Dior Sauvage.

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Being gen z isn’t about not remembering 9/11 it’s about being really good at warming up ur dougie but being kinda lackluster when u actually hth

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Fuck trains my hyperfixations are being fly as fuck and high-stakes poker

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

Chiken Sangwich:((?

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

“$19 for cigarettes in Manhattan? These things must cure cancer or something!”
*somebody leans over and whispers in my ear*
“They do WHAT??!?”

[Danny Undead @undeadmadeit]

I love living in New York you get to buy 2 or 3 very normal things and then get charged a billion dollars and walk away happy because the place around the corner charges 3 billion