vampire slut

cooler than you

[vampire slut @undertakerasia]

Texted my friend about getting coffee before work and they responded 4 hours later to say they weren’t coming to work today

[Taylor Gray @offtaylorgray]

When the joke on my laffy taffy wrapper is funny

[vampire slut @undertakerasia]

I have so many things to buy

[vampire slut @undertakerasia]

Ya know what go to hell

[k a r y. @itsKARY_]

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO screaming again 😭

[baby d @deaz1a]

I love Twitter because nobody pays me any attention on this app

[Gaga Crave 🌷 @AMENARTPOP]

17 years ago, lady gaga wore her iconic kermit the frog dress on german tv.

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

In 2007, Lionel Messi held a baby for a charity photo shoot. That baby was Spanish soccer star Lamine Yamal!

19 years later, Lamine Yamal and Spain defeat Lionel Messi and Argentina to win the World Cup!

[vampire slut @undertakerasia]

I’m sorry what the fuck is Big Brother

[Nicholas Rice @NicholasARice]

When you really think about it, this truly is one of our greatest cultural moments

[vampire slut @undertakerasia]

Didn’t even read the caption, he looks chopped as fuck in that last photo who tf is that

[Greg Abbott @GregAbbott_TX]

42 years ago today, I was out for a run in Houston. A tree fell on me, leaving me partially paralyzed.

My parents instilled in me the values that carried me through my darkest days: hard work, perseverance, and faith in God. Our lives are not defined by our challenges, but by how we respond to them.

Some say you need a spine of steel to lead. I actually have one. And I will never stop fighting for Texas.

[vampire slut @undertakerasia]

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, everyone needs a rich, lesbian friend!

[vee hates obx @kiesgallery]

amazing season. amazing girlhood. amazing winners. let’s run it back same time next year #loveislandusa

[internet baby @twerkculate]

congratulations to osama trin laden

[yas🪷 @cranesinth3sky]

No this is genuinely insane like woah

[bonnie @fwrosting]

when my mom behaves i reward her with information about my life

[vampire slut @undertakerasia]

AUGUST 31ST?

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

if you showed me this tweet a year ago

[Jonothan Jacobo @Colin_Field_2]

You know she felt cunt af in this too and went home conflicted