Underwater Dad

Dad of four girls (6, 5, and twin 2-year-olds). Chronicling their exploits to help me remember.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

Our 5 year old hid pieces from the puzzle she was doing with her sister so she could be the one to put the final piece in. Never have I been so sure that we are related.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

6 informed me today that when she is older, she is going to live in our current house and my wife and I are going to live in the house next door. I told her that was very sweet and she said she needed to make sure we were nearby to fund her diet of McDonalds, Subway, and pizza.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

@PeteAbe In the area with a few young kids who want to come see some of the workouts. Does it matter which day we come? Is one day better than another? Thanks!

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

[Playing an animal guessing game]

5: How big is it?

M: It’s about the size of mommy

5: An elephant!

M: . . .

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

I took 6 to vote with me last night and loved how excited she got when she realized that both the governor and lieutenant governor we were voting for are women.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

After 5 was done trick or treating, she sat on our front porch to pass out candy to the older kids coming through the neighborhood. She ended up being more excited to help them find the best candy in our bowl than she was to get candy for herself.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

When 2a and 2b hear that cheese is available!

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

6 currently assumes I can do every obstacle on American Ninja Warrior “no problem” and I hope she never loses that (completely false) belief

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

5 has a habit of saying “today was a good day” under her breath after doing something fun and I think she definitely needs to be a life coach.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

5: It’s not fair - daddy doesn’t have to nap!

Me: It is definitely not fair that daddy doesn’t get to nap.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

@Momsplaining101 Oh wow - that's a bad one. Luckily my oldest told me what happened, because two other children were running into the bathroom at that moment with more stuff to add.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

Having kids is for you if you'd like to experience the joy of fishing legos out of a used toilet.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

6: Hurry daddy, we're going to be late for school.

Me: Don't worry, daddy drives fast.

6: Yeah, when mommy's not in the car.

Me: . . .

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

6, trying to be helpful at the zoo to the 3 year old and his family who just arrived at the monkey house - “That’s the monkey’s penis there between his legs!”

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

6 remembers events and places based almost solely on the treats she had there. “Ooh, I remember this street - this is where they had the parade and threw candy to us!”

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

In the last week, a fox and a possum have tried to get into our house and car. I think word is spreading throughout the animal kingdom how much food our girls drop.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

4 got to the finals of a contest at camp by simply jumping up and down after each round as if she had gotten the question right and I don’t know whether to teach her to be a better sport or compliment her ingenuity.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

After getting in the car from camp, 4 and 6 immediately told me they needed money tomorrow so they could buy stuff from the snack bar and I suddenly had a vision of what the next 15 years of my life will sound like.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

2a and 2b just chased my wife through the kitchen looking for clementines as if they hadn’t eaten in hours when in reality it was their third after-dinner snack of the last hour.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

4 comforted 6 today by patting her head and saying “You’ll feel better after you have a nice snack” and I think she’s my new life coach.

[Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad]

Bananas opened in our house so far this year: 294

Bananas finished in our house so far this year: 0