Barb Ituate

Parody but only just. Yes, every tweet has a nugget of truth. It's my right to feel entitled. #toxic #unhappy #granny

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

You betcha, I can make Covid-19 all about me... How much more does my family have to go through? (Note: no-one I know has it, but still #allaboutme)

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

Sorry to keep you waiting. My list of Christmas complaints centres mostly around people I don't consider family - namely, those married to my children. #insular #family

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

Well, another Christmas over, surrounded by my four children and many grandchildren, all happy and healthy. Never fear, I will find something to complain about. Give me 48 hours to develop a theme... #Christmas #neverhappy

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

It's that time of year again. Time for me to ruin Christmas! Deck the halls in boughs of martyrdom and manipulation. #christmas #is #all #about #me

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

I had a gastronomy today (that's a medical procedure, in case you didn't know), and none of my children came to collect me from hospital. #elder #abuse

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

My Twitter account keeps offering me world news stories. Don't they realise I have more important things to think about, like ruining my children's lives? #centre #of #the #universe

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

People as young as 50 are now being allowed to live in my lifestyle village. How dare they come here with their optimism and vitality. I am entitled to wallow in my misery in peace! #whippersnappers #unwelcome #letmestew

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

It's so nice that my son could drive all the way to another state to see his wife's family. #whatamichoppedliver?

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

@Byron_Orlok Byron, you are better than all my children put together... and that's not saying much...

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

I want a car. I'm not happy in my lifestyle village so I might as well live in a car. #directquote #nobodycares

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

My neighbour lost $100k in an online Nigerian scandal. I don't have an email address, but I'm worried it'll happen to me... #worldrevolvesaroundme #

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

I've bought this for my second-favourite son to me at Christmas, because he loves me so much. #avoiddisappointment #martyrdomismyhobby

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

Just finished reading "Angela's Ashes". No longer want to go on a pilgrimage to Ireland. Sounds terrible over there. #comfortzone #anachronist

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

Another Mother's Day down. My favourite son put on a lovely breakfast. Don't worry, I'll manage to find something to complain about. #HappyMothersDay #nevergoodenough

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

I told my son, don't go to any effort, darling. Just hire a trailer, load the couch, drive a round trip of 60km. Just don't go to any effort for me. #burningmartyr

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

My son has bought a new couch and offered me his old leather one. I guess I only deserve cast-offs. Only gave birth to him. #whyme #fml

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

What better way to spend a holiday than making my young neice watch Mel Gibson's fun movie, "The Passion of The Christ" with me. #laughaminute #howtotraumatiseyourfamily

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

@Byron_Orlok I'll do my best, Byron. Thanks for your support. I bet you are lovely to your mother, unlike some people I know...

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

My daughter having a baby in a few weeks. Time to make it all about me. Thinking vague symptoms, hospital, and miraculous recovery just in time for the birth. #wontbeupstaged

[Barb Ituate @unhappygranny]

I know my children have gone through pain. It's just that my pain is more painful. #competition #winning