:Aggressive Pedestrian:

your local mess, typoist extraordinaire, collector of all things, neanimorphic, midwestern witch, & neurologically divergent. 🔮🤟☕️👩‍🍼

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

I’m at the point in my life where I need to eat a snack before I go to the store if I don’t want to buy another $73 worth of assorted snacks.

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

People who are up at 3am liking my Facebook post about my daughter sleep talking: My two mom friends, my SIL, and my Gma 😂

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Pretty certain that if all world leaders sat around this table and had a couple beers at 2am it would solve all the world’s problems

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

I need a nap to recover from my nap

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

@milielevesque Excuse me???? Can I be invited??

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

She was just cooing in her sleep and honestly that’s the cutest thing ever so it’s fine

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

My daughter at 2am: -makes loud elephant noises, blows raspberries, randomly cries, throws her arms in the air and then lays them flat and completely still-

Me, finally fell asleep 15 minutes ago after pumping: …. Ma’am ….

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

@milielevesque Are you saying I can finally be the bubble version of Wolverine???

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

Anyone else’s child seriously offended when you sneeze or cough during a feeding? The looks she gives me…

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

@CBluesArt Outside time is good time

[☔ @Whotfismick]

explaining your life to that friend you talk to once every three months

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

Me complaining to my husband.

Me: How do people be this pregnant for the whole 40 weeks? 😭

Him: Most people don’t have almost 8 lbs babies at 36 weeks with high amniotic fluid. Literally all the weight you gained went straight to the baby.

Me: So I should blame you??

Him:

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

When they make you go on maternity leave early because you are growing a giant.

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

@marissaisba Well I would love you even if an alien took over your body.

[𝓐. ♡ *:･ﾟ✧ @negraesoterica]

things women are punished for:

- being mothers
- not being mothers
- being religious
- not being religious
- having sex bc “whore”
- not having sex bc “prude”
- dating within their race bc male entitlement
- dating outside of their race bc male entitlement
- getting married
- not getting married
- being stay at home wives/moms
- being working wives/moms
- being the family breadwinner
- not being the breadwinner
- having any political or ideological leaning or opinion ever
- playing video games
- not playing video games
- being into sports bc it’s “fake”
- not being into sports bc she’s “vapid and too girly”

non-exhaustive list btw

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

Whenever my boss goes looking for me, I’m almost always in the bathroom. Then she asks why I’m in the bathroom like I’m not eight months pregnant and drinking at least 80oz of water just while I’m work alone with what feels like a watermelon for a uterus.

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

I just want to go on the record that I am never planning another event in my life.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

when you set an alarm for 7am, but also for 7:05, 7:10, 7:15 and 7:20

[:Aggressive Pedestrian: @uniquelykennd]

Okay but is pregnancy not a wild and chaotic adventure??? In the same day I had a full on breakdown about not getting a cheeseburger and then washed dishes to Japanese metal bands.

[MOON LOVER @M1ONLOVER]

Full Moons of 2023.