Mason Benjamin

(Your/Majesty) Quarantine Created

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

Everyone has their preferred pronouns in thier bio. Took a page from an old substitute and did the same

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

@_Hybreed_

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

Goodbye, Twitter World. It's yours truly.

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

@thebonusholes @md_turtle @LibertyCappy The flagger force guy is holding me hostage with his stop sign, not letting me pass through the construction zone. Thanks for readjusting my moral compass. Will never let a fed boy terrorists stop me from going to Dunkin' Doughnuts ever again

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

@FishusDelicious @ebosse_ @PicturesFoIder Nah this is PA

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

When the time comes, we should televise the U.S. Military draft just like the NFL draft. "In the 1st round of the 2023 United States Draft. The Marine Corps selects, All 19 year olds with last names starting with S.

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

@406fanatic @DEEJDMAN @bertkreischer You have 4 followers. Get some friends.

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

@406fanatic @DEEJDMAN @bertkreischer It's crazy you go after Mac, but tech n9ne is cool. You are an absolute mouth breather.

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

@malcompicsdaily @micah_passmore You had a girl, I kinda wish you knocked her up. So I could meet your son and talk you up.

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

@thebcaldwell @UberFacts There's a country song about this. It's called backwards by Rascal Flatts

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

Philadelphia 1 year from now.

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

I realized I wasn't in Pennsylvania today when I said it was 9/11 and nobody screamed "NEVER FORGET"

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

Just now seeing the tweets from yesterday. Dear America. You fucking beauty.

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

@maceyeyler A good handshake is firm, but not overwhelming tight. If he squeezes harder than you, you must match that squeeze to avoid crumpled fingers. 1 to 3 shakes maximum. And eye contact during said handshake. This all takes but 2 seconds, and that's where first impressions are made.

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

Just heard "The Way" by Arianna Grande WITHOUT Mac Miller. Shit sucks

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

I remember when @JustinHagberg2 said animal planet was dumb. How can you explain this or yourself.

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

"So where are you from?"
I'm from PA
"Oh, is that a military unit or something?"
No it just stands for Pennsylvania

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

Abortion is covered under the Castle Doctrine.

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

"Hey man, do you think instead of getting me crab ragooons, you can pick me up a bottle of vlad."
-A phone call about priorities

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

Just in case you needed to hear a voice of reason in these trying times.

[O.J. Simpson @TheRealOJ32]

What’s going to happen now?

[Mason Benjamin @unitwithunibrow]

The wind chimes outside my house during a heavy snow storm.

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

This guy deadlifted the entire garage (via ig:Mikeymaybeme)