Lizandro Gonzalez

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

If you're not supposed to abuse cough syrup then why does it come with a little plastic shot glass? http://t.co/X6f3ipbu

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was getting me to date her. http://t.co/89RBGil4

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

Does this bloodstained bunny suit make me look mentally unstable? http://t.co/Kpv5DRCm

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

http://t.co/axrOpwVC Wearing contact lenses for the first time. My vision's gone from YouTube to Blu-Ray.

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

I hate little dogs. I can only love dogs that could kill me. http://t.co/LCoYBPr0

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

http://t.co/KtSXa1O8 "A ghost took a dump all over the house!!!" - Paranormal Activia

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

Gay people are such great dressers because they've spent a lot of time in the closet. http://t.co/FndU1y4h

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

http://t.co/W6EoPDFX It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

Hey symphonies, play the main part we like more. http://t.co/b40oSEmZ

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

I'm white. But I'm not NASCAR fan white. http://t.co/5YRPeDeF

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

We could save a lot of hassle if we just made macaroni out of cheese in the first place. http://t.co/gEjGqCdn

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

http://t.co/JmBTKRXX If I didn't have to pee, I'd probably never get out of bed.

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

My kids think all food includes long, dark hairs as standard. http://t.co/KzSkehwn

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

http://t.co/HyhCc5Eu A ghost from last century left a YellowBook at my door like the Internet never happened.

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"? http://t.co/KSQ4uk9k

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

At this point my body would probably mistake a vegetable for a virus and try to attack it. http://t.co/0Or3WuYr

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

http://t.co/HqEBvMNW 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

Download Movies - http://bit.ly/gs3WHX

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

Fue Alex Rodriguez que nos trajo la mala suerte

[Lizandro Gonzalez @unocho]

mad...DR sucks ass!