USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.
Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.
I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."
"They just come with the table, man."
They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.
This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.
I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.
"Did we…?"
"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."
Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.
My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."
Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.
I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.
Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.
I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.
Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.
Someone I know who moved from a cash-constrained startup to a cash-rich one made an interesting observation: at her previous company there would be a lot of analysis paralysis in getting to the right answer, as the cost of making a wrong decision was high. What they unconsciously traded of was speed of execution and learning. It was the opposite in the new one. Failure was defined as slow decision making.
Taking a step back, this is the precise difference between scarcity and abundance cultures. We fret over every small decision when the cost of failure is going under, and rightfully so. But what is worse is when we’ve come out of scarcity in our lives, but haven’t left the scarcity mindset behind. Failure for the smartest people of my generation is when we don’t even attempt to solve the hardest problems, but spend our lives on small goals in order to ‘hedge’. When we know there’s enough of a capability / network / net worth cushion, but we are too scared to pursue big hairy audacious goals.
Scarcity mindset asks what could go wrong where abundance mindset asks what could go right. Scarcity breeds unhealthy competition because the size of the pie is static, abundance believes in collaborating to increase the size of the pie. Scarcity leads via fear, abundance leads via inspiration.
Everyday we choose who we want to be.
there’s so much comfort in romcoms, they’ve gotten me through depression, anxiety, breakups and any hard days at work. I just cannot get enough of feel good movies because they keep my subconscious hopeful, optimistic and calm
Right as you might be on this, your stance on #jahangirpuri has left a stain that’d be tough to erase. We really did expect better. Not as much from AAP but at least from you.
Dear Sivankutty ji, It would have been good if you had done a fact check before tweeting on this issue. You might want to have a look at our press release to see what we actually said!