Uriah Justus Shelton

Actor. Stuntman when they let me be. Loving father of a canine cotton ball. Absolute dumbass at times. Should not be given tequila.

[Uriah Justus Shelton @uriahjustus2]

Only difference between swimming in an infinity pool and swimming in a river, is the pool has more snakes in it

[Uriah Justus Shelton @uriahjustus2]

People only have so much threshold of what they can take

[Uriah Justus Shelton @uriahjustus2]

Just found out Freaky is number one at the box office. Bucket list item CHECKED 😤

[Uriah Justus Shelton @uriahjustus2]

I love when old people have old dogs and they both walk at their own complimentary extreeeemely slow pace together

[Uriah Justus Shelton @uriahjustus2]

Millennials and Gen Z hate on Boomers like they don’t have any problems of their own

[Uriah Justus Shelton @uriahjustus2]

Halloween is the best holiday because you don’t have to see family or buy anyone anything. Prove me wrong.

[Uriah Justus Shelton @uriahjustus2]

My girlfriend and mom are conspiring to make me go to West Hollywood in full drag... I’ll keep y’all updated...

[Uriah Justus Shelton @uriahjustus2]

Do I actually want to jump the LA river on my dirt bike or am i just hungry 👀

[Uriah Justus Shelton @uriahjustus2]

Because a Twitter is the last thing I need.