Conservative Rules

No to science; no to progress; no to immigrants; no to diplomacy; no to women; no to free thought; no to gays; no to helping others... but YES to guns

[Conservative Rules @uselessfunny]

🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/iVIzk8klG2

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

Everyone is very helpful.. #SignsYoureInMyHometown

[Conservative Rules @uselessfunny]

🤣🤣 old England.. https://t.co/P5suAbaNRE

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

"No, no, Donald, you can't fire her. Old England is another country..." John Kelly https://t.co/BSDO6sgw4j

[Conservative Rules @uselessfunny]

😂😂😂🤣🤣 #synonymgame https://t.co/g9dkCv1YJB

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

Good (great) meeting (gathering) in the Oval (elliptical) office (chamber) with (among) the NRA (gun cartel). https://t.co/bPOtPXZqRU

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

@jimmyfallon #WorstFirstDate https://t.co/pEDlxkwUe8

[Conservative Rules @uselessfunny]

Brutal!! 😂😂😂 @jimmyfallon https://t.co/vTBk7lEq1G

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

Cracked open a lobster claw & lobster juice squirted into her eye; she is deathly allergic to seafood. Drove her to hospital, where she nixed a possible 2nd date. #WorstFirstDate

[Conservative Rules @uselessfunny]

This 👇👇👇 https://t.co/GIxLp5XCX2

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

The "right condition" here, pal, is a slight glimmer of hope we'll put a stick in climate change's wheels & will our kids a liveable planet https://t.co/UBfhV4h43x

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

Evangelicals are skeptical about science & climate change, but blindly adhere to intangible fables peddled by profiterring ministers

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

Our current state of affairs is starkest evidence yet of the zero-sum battle between forces of capitalism & democracy. Latter is struggling

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

I would do anything for love, but I wont do Yo Mama.. #YoMamaSongs

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

Proving yet again that with our President, its not what you are, who you are, or what you stand for, but rather, will you teabag him softly https://t.co/H1M4ubFVKk

[Conservative Rules @uselessfunny]

Lol https://t.co/VTmupCMvu3

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

No question.. I always preferred Kim Jong Un of Scranton, PA. Much more reasonable dude. https://t.co/mSnW4y7uwP

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

Dont worry america, under #CassidyGraham iteration of trump #wealthcare all americans will be covered

[Conservative Rules @uselessfunny]

Hey @realDonaldTrump I think this may be sarcasm. 👇👇👇👇👇 https://t.co/TityZdpIGI

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

Yah, cause, if nothing else, it'll be comforting for Texans swimming in their Kitchens, knowing Wall St. bankers finally got a break. 😒 https://t.co/d2wc9I0t10

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

I was gonna get an iPhone 7, but the iPhone 8 was imminent & I didnt wanna be behind the techno wave, so Im sticking with my current phone

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

Well thats good news! Now she can get back to monitoring the Russians from her porch 👀👀 https://t.co/JYmWyYCSPA

[Conservative Rules @uselessfunny]

😂 https://t.co/aXcFCMMubE

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

Collar up; ID hat (to avoid confusion w/ victims); skinny jeans & stiletto heals. I bring u "Natural Disaster Wear" a Melania collection. https://t.co/w7Che8Kjk9

[Conservative Rules @uselessfunny]

This 👇👇👇👇👇👇 😢 https://t.co/Vt0CvrPAMn

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

They needed this; trump gave'em this instead. #HurricaneHarvey

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

"Dunald. You telled me Texas is dry & sunshiny place. Dis is mud & smells. My shoes is dirty"

[Conservative Rules @uselessfunny]

🤣🤣 https://t.co/u7lqoF5XKt

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

#SignsOfABadRestaurant they use verb tenses to describe quality of food.. 😳

[Two Minutes for Elbowing 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺 @outrageous74]

#SignsOfABadRestaurant waiter is poking around in the back alley dumpster.