:p

[✭𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚢✭ @mattysnowpuff]

me every day for the past 2 months

[:p @user017804]

i also started taking creatine, so ik that can make you hold onto water weight and look bloated and weigh a bit more but i really just can’t even look at myself . i look so huge.

[:p @user017804]

i’ve gained like 8lbs in the past month and i genuinely wanna kill myslef. food and calories and exercise are all i think about 24/7. and i keep binging and overeating and it’s only gotten worse. idk what’s wrong with me and why i do this to myself.

[:p @user017804]

i genuinely don’t know how i can’t control myself anymore. i’ve been eating so many calories every single day and i feel so lost with myself.

[:p @user017804]

i feel like when i started to prioritize strength training and protein is also when i also started to develop bed. calories used to the the only thing i cared about and eating as little as possible. now that im focusing on more than that, i feel like ive lost any sense of control

[:p @user017804]

idk if i should just say fuck it and stop lifting, stop giving af about protein again, and just go back to restricting as much as possible. like ik i can still get enough protein to build muscle and support my goals whilst also losing weight, but it feels impossible for me.

[:p @user017804]

already happened so there’s no sense dwelling on it. just need to look forward. i’m also going to start going to the gym so i can lift heavier and use machines ^_^ working out at home is nice, but it’s limiting. im at the point where it’s necessary for further progression

[:p @user017804]

ookayyy!!! so i lowkey had been doing pretty good, starting to see a bit of progress. and then binged for literally like a week. don’t know what the fuck that was for. but i’m feeling determined and confident on getting back on track now. i can’t do anything to change what has

[:p @user017804]

@nattsvargr no it looks good! very pretty! ( ◠‿◠ )

[:p @user017804]

@nattsvargr your presence matters in this world. i understand that feeling all too well, but truly, you are so so much more than these negative thoughts. everyone has their struggles. it doesn’t make you worth any less. sending love 🫂

[:p @user017804]

these were my fav🥲 i’ve been devastated since they removed them from canada.

[Phoebe🦞 @HESHERLOBSTER96]

50 cals per tender i literally live off of these

[:p @user017804]

@horseofedtwt dude omg u and me literally living the same life. i’ve been so inactive cuz ive been busy with work and just dealing with life. i be feeling bad for not interacting with anyone on here lately. AND ive also been stuck around the same weight range too 😭😪

[:p @user017804]

frozen mango is so goated omfg

[cait ⁺໒꒱ིྀ༝ @caitkcals]

when you’ve been in a binge cycle and actually see yourself get visibly fatter

[:p @user017804]

i hate this feeling. i just want to see him and talk to him and for things to be how they were so much. and it’s dumb. i always care too much about everything. and i feel so annoying and whiny to complain about it over and over.😞 agh it is, and will be all okay though. 🙂

[:p @user017804]

havent been active. been pretty sad and out of it. when he initially broke up with me i didn’t eat for like 2 days lol, but now ive had a few days that ive binged this past week. 🙃 i feel really lost with myself and i need to get a grip and fix whatever’s going on.

[:p @user017804]

i’m really grateful for my little brothers. they’ve been spending time with me which helps with the sadness. past couple days i didn’t even cry about it and i was feeling hopeful that im getting over it. but then today i cried again.

[:p @user017804]

@starrymists so real me too

[:p @user017804]

god im so dramatic 🫠

[:p @user017804]

it’s so hard when you need a hug so very badly but are unable to accept physical touch from anyone. and you cannot receive it from the one person who was an exception, and will not ever again.

[:p @user017804]

its such a horrible feeling. idek what to say or do. i feel so sad. i just want a hug. and he is the only one who could give it to me. i feel so empty