Usman

[Usman @usmann___]

poora din calorie defecit kar k raat ko mango shake pee lia 🤦

[27. @dimvji]

“fuck you’re tight” me to my budget

[Cleo @deeryclio]

Dreaming of a morning cigarette while sitting on a bench of a foreign city

[𝐄𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐳𝐲 @Effizy_0]

First time smoking weed in 2006: laughed so hard I fell off the porch, ate an entire pizza alone, then called my ex at 2am to explain quantum physics. Last night: smoked, folded one shirt, and went to bed at 8:30pm. We lost something bros.

[Every nigga deserves @ENIGGADESERVES]

Drink some water, my nigga.

[Parav @Paravkahol]

Career banao, paise banao, body banao, khud ko acha insaan banao, dost banao, gf banao
bhai zindagi hai ya manufacturing plant

[bakwaas master @bakwaasmaster]

does anyone want 2 like just meet and walk for an hour straight and not spend any money for mental health purposes

[kache @yacineMTB]

my life has hit a point of busy where i am blocking out time on a google calendar for ordinary life things like washing my ass

[Laurence @ibeonline]

oomf (one of my faded-memories)

[super acid @Bojckhorsewoman]

sorry i don’t abuse girls i only abuse my lungs

[Usman @usmann___]

exactly 6 years ago my academic downfall started

[𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘇𝘆’🦉 @OvOBrezzzy]

They had Shakespeare, I have Kanye west

[scoobydoobypasta @drippyfrk]

“this glass is half full” “this glass is half empty” kaash koi iske andar daaru mix karke mujhe dede

[Syed Naveed Xhah @nomi_shahh_]

🚨🚨🚨Trump was taken into medical emergency today as his personal team of doctors suspected something wrong. Upon examine doctors found that balls of Trump were missing and later found woh Shehbaz Shareef ke moun me thy.

[Chai Met Toast @bythewaynikhil]

BDSM:
Been Depressed Since March 2020

[Usman @usmann___]

@nafarmaanaulaad ur way too worried for someone who has figured everything out every single time

[bojack horseman bot @bojackhbot]

i’m like a father figure to him. by which i mean i slept with his mother.

[Usman @usmann___]

today's discovery - 5km is just 5 rounds of winning speech