Women: I am going to soft launch my new relationship on instagram. Keep it subtle. First month is just going to be dress selfies and people will suspect I’m going out, but I won’t say anything. Second month is pictures of food and wine where you can clearly see another plate and glass - but still I won’t give details. Third month when we’re exclusive I’ll do a group hiking picture where I’m sort of hanging off his arm. Somewhere in month five or six we’ll do a long weekend vacation in the Caribbean and after a few harmless cocktail and bikini selfies, l’ll finally post a picture of the two of us together and announce to a world that John and I are a couple.
Men:
BJP IT Cell coolies after being ordered to call Raghav Chaddha and Harbhajan their new fathers after labelling them Khalistan supporters just a few weeks ago 😭😭
credit cards are such a weird vestigal organ. tiny little nfc chip with everything you need on it housed in a giant piece of garbage just so you don’t lose it