i took myself apart
and cut off my strings
and scraped the remains from my starving bowels
collected them into garbage piles
to tie in bags, sink in the lake
and bury at the bottom of my sad mistakes
just another waste of time and effort, of flesh and bone
caught in the numbing turmoil of everyday existence
looking in a mirror reveals the husk of my former self
its hard to believe i used to be happier