that dank guy

big fan of everything that replaces actual human contact

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

"you do drugs?"
"Is love a drug?"
"Oh yeah it's the strongest drug"
"Good because I love cocaine"

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

People say money can’t buy happiness
But have you ever been sad while eating pizza you didn’t pay for?

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

Just got an award for being the "most secretive guy"
I can't tell you how much this means to me

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

Europe is a weird place it has netherlands, Norway

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

You are in her dms
I'm at lowest point of my mental stability
We are not same bro

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

* after dinner date*
She- we should probably do this again
Me- but I'm already full can't eat more

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

Imagine asking a blind girl out in Braille and getting left on felt

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

therapy costs a lot
But it's free to tell yourself that it's all your fault

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

I never make same mistake twice 😎
I make it 5-6 times just to be sure 😭

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

I thought classical music was family friendly
But in reality there's a lot of sax and violins

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

People be having STDs are not snacc they're food poisoning

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

She broke up with me because she wanted to focus on the studies
But guess who's name it is in her history book now ....mine
I wrote it when she wasn't looking lol

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

Saying mucho to my Spanish friends
It means a lot to them

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

Somebody told me 'icy' is an easy word to spell
I see why

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

“Alcohol won’t take you anywhere”

It will if you drink and drive

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

I really hate peoples who doesn't use proper grammar. There shit

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

**I actually overdosed on anxiety pills a few minutes ago**
But
>!I’m not too worried about it!<

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

She : I think we should have dinner
Me : okay, what's the time?
She : 8 o clock
Me : I know you're hungry but why did you eat a clock 😐

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

can't believe someone stole my fruit basket
I'm peachless 😭

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

my soulmate probably went through my photos and said nvm

[that dank guy @utkarsh_im]

”I like bad boys”
”I cook chicken stick in a non-stick pan”