Joey

[Joey @utvtrd]

Do you think thneeds from The Lorax were made out of 100% asbestos?

[Joey @utvtrd]

My fellow schizos, ask not what the bugs under your skin can do for you. Ask what you can do for the bugs under your skin! Now go, feed my children, feed! Conquer the entire world! JFK demands it! Heh-heh-heh! Er-uh

[Joey @utvtrd]

Autistic son or down syndrome daughter?

[Joey @utvtrd]

I’m going to make a cum cocoon out of cum and Kleenex

[Joey @utvtrd]

There’s nothing I hate more in this world than having to shit immediately after getting out of the shower >:(

[Joey @utvtrd]

I know a guy who knows a goy

[Joey @utvtrd]

I feel like Judge Judy should’ve played Meemaw on Young Sheldon

[Joey @utvtrd]

I don’t even call taxes taxes anymore, I just call it Israel’s cut

[Joey @utvtrd]

I need that Prozac pack

[Joey @utvtrd]

The power it took me to go to the tax man and not say “I’m here to make my yearly donation to Israel.”

[Joey @utvtrd]

I just subconsciously did a fucking anagram of my phone number for a password wtf

[Joey @utvtrd]

Sometimes I think my grandma is a thalidomide baby

[Joey @utvtrd]

Clutches my pearls

[Joey @utvtrd]

My heart isn’t full of hate, it’s full of blood ❤️

[Joey @utvtrd]

I like how the only way I can make it through an entire movie undistracted is by watching it on a 70s analog television

[Joey @utvtrd]

All edging and no gooning makes Brian a blue balls boy.

All edging and no gooning makes Brian a blue balls boy.

All edging and no gooning makes Brian a blue balls boy.

[Joey @utvtrd]

Let’s see if Carol can get through this episode without fucking Zosia

[Joey @utvtrd]

I wonder if Stanley Kubrick worked on the holocaust too

[Joey @utvtrd]

Let’s see if Carol can get through this episode without killing Zosia

[Joey @utvtrd]

Biggest flex in 1975