Lauren Martini

Dynamic duality of brains and beauty 🌹
University of South Florida Alumna.

[Jonathan Keeperman @L0m3z]

Trump yelling “Fight. Fight,” after getting grazed by a bullet in the ear, an inch from ending his life.

No panic. No crawling on his knees to safety. The man stands up, faces the crowd, and yells “Fight.”

Historic footage. Just incredible.

[Grant Cardone @GrantCardone]

I personally can not believe Twitter has banned the President's account when Chinese & Iranian leaders
have access to Twitter.

#ConcernedForOurCountry

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

Great hair, great ham.

Thanks, @Dyson

#Thanksgiving2020

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

@TheDawgzilla I'm a Florida fan and this is funny AF 💀💀💀💀😭😭😭😭

[Melania Trump 45 Archived @FLOTUS45]

Tonight, we light the @WhiteHouse pink in honor of #NationalBreastCancerAwarenessMonth. As one Nation, we remember the precious lives lost, pray to bring comfort & strength to those battling the disease, & work with compassion to develop treatments & find a cure.

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

@BetteMidler Wow. I really enjoyed your humor in movies I watched growing up, but now, I think you're just as ugly as your tweets.

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

Sissy! I love you so much. You hold the largest part of my heart.

Today was the first time in 32 years that I wasn't able to hug my sister ☹

#SocialDistancing

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

@realDonaldTrump The Year-To-Date return on my 401K is at 14.13% and climbing 💸💸💸

Thank you for being my President. I love you! 🇺🇸 #KAG

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

The #StreamingWars are destroying me.
<insert me, dramatically fainting backwards, here>

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

If you're not participating in a #GameofThrones meme thread with at least 3 friends, are you even a GOT fan?!?!

[BuffaloDen @buffaloden716]

My reaction to $DGAZ this morning.

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

This is going to be a long, uncomfortable ride $DGAZ

[Fake SportsCenter @FakeSportsCentr]

Drew Brees did the Redskins dirty on Columbus Day.

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

This is a 2018 rendition of the Salem Witch trial. These claims have ZERO validity and ZERO corroboration from anyone but the accuser. Since when does the FBI investigate unsubstantiated allegations?!??? Only when they're against a Republican. #KavanaughHearings

[Paul Santasieri @paulie_nuts]

Yooooooo. Vance MacDonald like #MNF

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

After my polite decline, he looked back over at me and replied:

"If it were raining soup, I'd be caught with a fork"...

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

You done dug yourself a pit a mile deep and a foot wife, and you're looking back up at a pinhole.

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

Cannon @Cadillac awarded me #SalespersonOfTheMonth for the month of April!!!! #closer ��👸🏼🚘💸

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

This is all God's doing, man, you can't plan it.

[Lauren Martini @vaLLeyyygirLL]

Things I wish people would forever STOP posting:

- your child's report card
- 10,000 vacation photos
- screenshots of lame ass texts
- pictures of your mani/pedi
- pyramid scheme earnings