Vagesteem🇭🇹

Teaching how to have good and healthy sex through courageous conversations. Check out the podcast on iTunes,Google,Soundcloud 🇭🇹

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

Check out the VagEsteem podcast on SoundCloud, iTunes and Google Music! Where we’re having courageous convos about sex. Out every Thursday!

[I appreciate you. @DeeLaSheeArt]

Not enough adults are understanding that they have to create moments of happiness in their lives. Find things to be excited about. Create plans to look forward to. Decorate the house during holidays. Make a playlist you only listen to on Tuesdays. Keep your favorite snacks stocked in case of a bad day. You have more control over your joy than you think.

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

2. You look hot TODAY
You look good TODAY
You are FOINE TODAY
Even if you want to make “improvements”- you’re still living and you can’t want for it all to happen before you show off!

Sometimes it might be too late. She was gorgeous, gleeful and full of love. See for yourself.

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

1. We have to stop with this whole, “I don’t take pics because I don’t like the way I look” BS!! I see yall dippin out of pics or volunteering to be everyone’s picture taker- STOP IT. You are letting life pass you by and letting us miss out on watching your beauty and glow!

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

One of my favorite aunts passed away a little while ago and when my mom was making the arrangements, we all realized that we didn’t have too many pictures of her to celebrate and commemorate her life and spirit. After sorting through my own pics last night- I was reminded…

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

Reminder.

Stop texting that long paragraph and just hit ‘em with the “k”.

1. They’re not gonna read all that
2. You’re gonna be mad by their inadequate response anyway
3. Save your energy. They don’t care

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

‘“And emotional/physicafl labor is high”

…here’s the thing. You’re not gonna get h0rñy if you’re tired tired and you’re definitely not gonna be in the mood if you’re the most me who is thinking about laundry, doctor visits, caretaking, household stuff all by yourself

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

“And emotional/physical labor is high”

… here’s the thing you’re not gonna be get h0rñy if you’re tired tired and you’re not gonna be in the mood if you’re the one who is thinking about laundry, doctor visits, household stuff all by yourself.

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

I know you want a special tea, enhancers, magic pill. I know you want a quick fix, but it’s the lack of partnership/equal division of labor. Most likely your 🐱 is FINE.

And for those partners who think I’m talking about them, flowers/gifts in a dirty house ain’t gonna cut it.

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

Folks often 1. Don’t wanna hear that😂 2. we’ve been conditioned to think something is WRONG WITH US all the time AND we’re the ones who have to go find the magic potion

Meanwhile… your partner hasn’t even tried to make the bed they wanna lay you down in!!! TUH!

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

There is a correlation between shared household labor and your “being in the mood” because one can feel resentful and feelings of resentment or being taken for granted doesn’t make a person wanna take off the panties and it can contribute to the overall “tiredness”.

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

Over the last few months, I’ve had folks DM me asking for suggestions with increasing their libido and the first question I usually ask is “how is your sleep” and secondly, “how is the emotional and physical labor load in your house?”

Typically, the answer is “sleep is so so”

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

Is it low libido? Or is it that your partner is making you carry the emotional and physical labor in your relationship?

Carrying the load makes the 🐱 dry up.

[it girl, interrupted @seIfiedump]

she’s right n she should say it louder

[Taylor Rooks @TaylorRooks]

Respectfully, colleague - The disappointing thing about this take is you actually can’t have an informed opinion on this if you are choosing to be gender neutral and racially indifferent. Because that is impossible. Her existence as a black woman shapes both how she is seen by others and how she sees the world. And in this case how she is seen by you.
Your response here is actually full of opinions that indirectly (and directly) involve both race and gender. It’s just coded to unsuccessfully soften the blow. You have to ask why Angel became the villain. You have to ask why her role as ‘villain’ has not allowed her to also be human. You have to wonder why her being asked a question and simply answering has led to this level of discourse. You have to ask what you mean when you say Angel wants to talk grown or pose grown?? What is ‘grown’ a substitute for? You have to ask why trash talking - a practice many athletes engage in - is seen so much harsher when it comes from someone that looks like her. You have to ask how some of the ideas you expressed fuel the fire of the aforementioned marginalization. You have to ask why you heard her discuss unacceptable treatment and your reaction was to discuss how she can’t address it. And I have to ask if you spoke to any black women athletes about their experiences in order to give a more enlightened take before you came and said this.
Angel has absolutely made herself a public figure and she should be open to the criticism pertaining her game and persona. She should also be allowed to express when those criticisms are out of bounds. Why did you cling to her reaction as opposed to the vitriol that caused it? She certainly does not deserve sympathy for losing a game. She deserves sympathy for being attacked and targeted for things outside of said game.
As much as you believe this to be a take without bias, your reasoning proves the point you are fighting against. Opinions are opinions, and everyone is entitled, but our opinions are shaped by the paradigms we know. I hope no one says they are taking out gender and race, because in a black woman’s world, we do not have that choice. I hope you realize your luxury and privilege by being able to say what you said. I hope you look around and notice the people that have delighted and applauded seeing a black man get on television and give THIS opinion on a young black woman. Because it’s not for the reasons you think.
That’s my take.

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

Repeat.
Affirm.
Practice.

And remember, change and transformation is inevitable able and absolutely applies to our bodies.

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

Imagine all the things you could be doing instead of wasting time hating your body and wishing it was different:

1. Putting the bountiful FUPA on their foreheads 🤷🏾‍♀️
2. Jiggling a little something in a sundress
3. Having someone massage the luxurious saddlebags

[Vagesteem🇭🇹 @vagesteem]

4. Trace the s3xy stretch marks
5. Let your belly breathe in pics
6. Wear the OUTFIT
7. Show off
8. Adorn yourself
9. Ask yourself ‘who made up these rules anyway?’
10. Ask, ‘where is the message coming from? Was it one that was given to me?’