💉VAL ♡

prepare for tmi tweets about my sex life • 🔞 heavy nsfw follower

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

were you normal or were you a kid that wasn’t allowed to eat blue m&ms

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

just ate two steaks, two jacket potatoes, and a fat stack of salad. if anyone needs me just look outside because i'm the size of king fucking kong now

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

waking up and scraping my last three brain cells together to decide if i can actually be bothered going to work

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

crawling back to twitter after two years is so funny.. hi guys

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

'23 me knew what was up

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

ed gamble doing the “get this duck into that pond” task is one of my favourite clips of all time

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

ed gamble doing the “get this duck into that pond” task is one of my favourite clips of all time

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

“billy joel would love elton john’s cumshot on his piano” — my friend cal

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

really. really fucking miserable

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

me: if you start naruto running. im never having sex with you again
bf: …
bf: give me your hand
bf: i think we should see other people

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

“i’m gonna do one man one horse” - bf

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

lin manual miranda is like theatre kid jerma — @n33nz_

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

he has called me a wrinkly hairless mole

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

“i can’t take you seriously with an unlit fag in your mouth”
‘you take me seriously every time i eat you out’

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

boyfriend described men trying to rub cum on each other as “cute fun guy times”

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

the bank gave me an overdraft im going to buy uber eats

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

@_abbyadventures it’s so good right rob had never seen it so i showed him

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

kingsman is like men in black without aliens

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

he said he puts bogeys up my pussy

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

“this feels like i just gave birth… i might cum”

[💉VAL ♡ @valentopsy]

bf found out he can apply for a 1k overdraft and immediately grabbed his cock