valerieshaun

[Dane Cook @DaneCook]

People that "sincerely apologize" right after an incident always forget that the "I'm so sorry" doesn't reset your life in an instant. There's also the steps of the person or people receiving it, processing it & confirming they forgive you.

[Dane Cook @DaneCook]

No matter how passionate you are or how commanding a presence you emit, there’s always a person somewhere that doesn’t think you’re shit.

[Dane Cook @DaneCook]

The grass is rarely greener on the other side.. mostly artificial turf.

[U.S. Coast Guard @USCG]

It's Wear Your Lifejacket to Work Day! #USCG members from around the nation are proudly sporting their PFDs.

Next time you're on the water, #WearIt!

[valerieshaun @valerieshaun]

@meiggyyy I saw you drinking two bud lights at the same time once. I also know you like peach sangria.

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Every day I count the trees in my yard and the number is never the same. Anyway I'm fine.

[Dane Cook @DaneCook]

I’m so delirious in quarantine that I just urinated in my own hands and flushed the soap.

[Dane Cook @DaneCook]

I am done writing a book about my first 30 years in comedy. No one has ever read a book like this before from a comedian. I can’t wait to blow minds.
Also it’s a love letter to all the comics who have shown me support no matter what level I have been at. I’m a lucky fucker.

[Detroit Free Press @freep]

dont inject lysol

[valerieshaun @valerieshaun]

@meiggyyy Burn the blanket.

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Hey things might be bad right now but at least they’ll still be this way for a while.

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

I'm starting to miss things I hated.

[Country Words @Country_Words]

I wish good dogs never got grey and old. -Riley Green

[lauv @lauvsongs]

you ever think of all the people you still think about that u never reach out to anymore? isn’t that sad

[Dane Cook @DaneCook]

Traveling all day if anyone needs me.. I will be departing from my kitchen and arriving in my living room with a quick layover in my bathroom.

[Delta College Athletics @delta_pioneers]

The NJCAA has announced the suspension of all spring sports beginning March 14th-April 3rd. On April 3rd the NJCAA will meet to decide how the spring sports season will move forward. Pioneer Athletics will keep you informed every step of the way. #PioneerPride

[abs @abbie_tubbs]

don’t cancel softball don’t cancel softball don’t cancel softball don’t cancel softball don’t cancel softball don’t cancel softball

[lauv @lauvsongs]

i need some time to myself

[Dane Cook @DaneCook]

Everyone is important. Everyone adds value. Don’t underestimate anyone it only depletes you.