No

online diary

[No @valmascara]

Everyday I pray to my lord and liege Kevin Gates in hopes that one day he'll bestow upon me the ancient magic infused in the oracle that is Yonce Concert. He is the prophet, the scrive, that will someday guide us all in necromancing dead car batteries with our bare hands.

[No @valmascara]

Is getting wine drunk, listening to New Wave and George Michael deepcuts, and writing fanfiction about people irl you're in limerance with considered an acceptable hobby?

[No @valmascara]

Just accidentally farted because I sneezed, twas a perfect reminder of the unstoppable slow march of time towards the inevitable darkness

[ً @artfuIchaos]

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like I can’t be saved

[Buck @Buck36043Buck]

Ok I guess I’ll drink on an Empty Stomach About it

[em o’ lantern 🎃 @emmytweetedit]

what being in the 2nd week of biweekly pay feels like:

[No @valmascara]

@steppedenizen We're at carrollton station every Friday night thank ya very much

[No @valmascara]

My dilfy boss fired my workplace bully the literal day after I told him that I would walk if she fucked with me again, and that may be one of the most romantic things anyone has ever done for me, very ceo/yn

[ivi @ivibuni]

missionary so i can ask if my bangs look ok

[No @valmascara]

@BUNNlCULA Read this as 'New Orleans Coworker' and was like yeah that checks out for us

[No @valmascara]

Using a Minute Key is a humilation ritual from how obscenely loud the speaker and machine are

[No @valmascara]

@mrdavidrowe This is me fr, an online diary if you will

[No @valmascara]

@ReddCinema I keep thinking this is Rinna lol

[jawn didion @tinndfishmonger]

Wearing platform Uggs and yoga pants makes me feel like a beautiful Clydesdale horse

[tate @octatate]

the mold in my owala is making me evil

[No @valmascara]

Rich in life bc my bf knows I get mad if I don't come at least twice during sex

[temple runner @misscalcula]

people born in 2002 are dead now

[No @valmascara]

My cat and I, especially her, very much enjoyed @funkyfrogbait 's hilarious and depressing Xmas video

[666 🩵 w1ntert1me 🩵 heavenly dev1ls 🩵 @762x54RAWR]

nothings $7 these day. now everythings 13 dollats

[No @valmascara]

When the right combination of chronic internet use and nighttime delirium hits and I get the mental zoomies of 13 yr old fangirl me and everything becomes 10x more hilarious and emotionally provocative

[No @valmascara]

If you go to a restaurant and act like an asshole to the staff, just know that we are flaming the FUCK out of out you, things you are not even aware of that you should be very insecure about