Lauren

A lot more awkward in person. Big fan of bats. She/her

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

Need a fainting couch after every work meeting

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

You clobber your knee once in your twenties and it's like that the rest of your life.

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

Just saying this because I recently got into flossing, but my gums still bled the next time I went to the dentist and dental assistant said it was because I wasn't massaging my gums as brushed my teeth.

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

Gaslight your dentist by getting your teeth cleaned at a rival dentistry before your teeth cleaning with them. Watch them scramble to come up with reasons your gums are bleeding other than not flossing.

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

I was definitely made to be nocturnal

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

Writers block but with work

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

I live at the whim of a very whiny dog

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

Nobody thinks you're a bad person if you attempt to fulfill those two ideas, but they might be convinced otherwise if you continue with business as usual

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

When confronted with the idea that you have been using an outdated, harmful term for a group of people, your first instinct should be to attempt to understand and remove that term from your vocabulary, not justify your usage of the term.

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

Mitski is not just a vibe, but a feeling

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

Still haven't recovered from the fact that there was an angry birds movie

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

I do not trust people that rate pilot g2s higher than papermate inkjoys

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

You know you're a freaking nerd if all you can think about is how excited you are to test out the new pens you just purchased

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

Every libertarian i know has two phones

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

Just saw an email address with 'yaoi' in it and I really had to stop and think about how I got here

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

I have to consolidate email addresses for work and some of these are truly bizarre-- looking at you, whoever decided to have their username as 'toepix'

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

I have an urge to sew four king sized blankets together

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

Calm before the rolling boil

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

Everyone in my family needs therapy 😂😂😂 I can't be the only one that sees this

[Lauren @vampireswhat]

The power siblings have to ruin your entire vibe