lila 🪽

locking in.

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

⋅ my #edtwt intro

-not new to edtwt. just relapsing. again.
- i am pro-recovery for anyone who wants to. just not myself.

┈ pls be active!
┈ cw: 63kgs ⋮ 141lbs ⸝⸝ gw: 49kgs ⋮ 110lbs
┈ 160cm ⋮ 5’3

tags : #edrtwt #ricecaketwt #thinspo #ricecakestwt

[cherry ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚⋆ @S0ulGhoul]

trying to be feminine while being fat is genuinely torture I feel like every person is just thinking how im desperate to be pretty and doesn’t actually view me that way

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

and it’s the fact that i told myself at 190lbs that 135lbs would be my stopping point. now I’m 5 pounds away from it and i realize i need to just go bald. LMAOOO DUMMY!

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

so in order to have my dream body type i need my ribs to stop being so wide… how does that get fixed… its bones…

[ani @Ihatesaurkraut]

i love the feeling of my stomach growling when i’m hungry

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

once i reach 52kgs, i’m buying uggs

[akyra  @yourbabystrawb]

my problem is I want all my cals to come from snacks does snackorexia exist

[nekyra @Hurricanenekyra]

"How to lose weight fast!"
"eat slowl-"

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

this ed will not give me a different face so that’s devastating

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

dumb calorie calculator app said i could lose 25 pounds in 80 days eating at 1200 cal. also said my maintenance is 2400. with WHOSE bmi???

[bryn🍷 @mysticitlikeher]

OKAY FINE I HAVENT LOST ANY FUCKING WEIGHT SINCE JANUARY IVE JUST BEEN LOSING AND GAINING THE SAME 3KGS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔😭😭😭😭😭

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

my bf saying he wants to gain weight and put more muscle on and meanwhile i am over here trying to actively wither away

[🌈Aoife🍬 @fangedbratt]

me when i still look the exact same

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

living alone and having my own place is actually awful for my ed because i will walk past my kitchen and just sigh 5 times a day. like damn i really stocked that pantry when i was in my “fuck this ed” phase and now what

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

so we’re both here. just one of us looks awful. Cool.

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

seeing thinspo in public will ruin my entire week actually

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

yes ive started treating my stomach like an enemy. it isolates the need to satisfy my hunger. why would i help youuuuu.

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

just heard my stomach growl. YEAH BE HUNGRY! you’re not getting a damn thing from me.

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

LOOSE SKIN EVERYWHERE I WILL IT CUT OFF

[lila 🪽 @vampsuffering]

should i start rewarding myself when i lose… like does that work? i’ve never done it because i figured my reward was feeling hungry. but i see people doing it so i wonder if that’s good motivation. maybe a new shirt or something. stomach AND my bank account both gonna be empty!

[mila 🍰 semi-recov? @lastgrlon_earth]

an eating disorder will have you genuinely excited about buying new plates and bowls