Steve Vanderlitz

[goodboy noah @goodboy__noah]

Some foods are scary! 🙀

[goodboy noah @goodboy__noah]

Always gotta have backup eggplants

[The Oatmeal @Oatmeal]

🦃

[goodboy noah @goodboy__noah]

Note to self: don’t let @MrsJetTila play with fire

[You Had One Job @YouHadOneJ0B]

“And how did you get banned from the store?”

[You Had One Job @YouHadOneJ0B]

Dress for the job you want.

[Steve Vanderlitz @vanderlitz]

@RobertIrvine Cream cheese and regular cheddar
#RestaurantImpossible #FitCrunch

[Steve Vanderlitz @vanderlitz]

@RobertIrvine One shrimp #RestaurantImpossible
#FitCrunch

[Steve Vanderlitz @vanderlitz]

@RobertIrvine 1978 #RestaurantImpossible #FitCrunch

[Saparmurat Niyazov @saparmuratfaux]

Me: Got a B on my IQ test

Friend: a B?

Me: I got a 70

Friend: That's not how th-

Me: [Entering my second hour of eating soup with a fork] don't hate

[Steve Vanderlitz @vanderlitz]

@TitusNation To non-maskers: My mask protects you...your mask protects..oh, right. Congratulations.

[Antifa Barbie 🌻 @ThatAntifaBitch]

Like humans, dogs can see a variety of colors. The difference lies in the range of colors and how vivid those shades appear. Yet, dogs don't judge each other on the various shades of their coats. They judge one another by their buttholes, like civilized creatures.

[Steve Vanderlitz @vanderlitz]

Excited (@altonbrown!) /slightly uneasy (#people) about #beyondtheeats tomorrow @TheOrpheumTN

[NurseBrianRN @rn_murse]

What do we want!?

BETTER DRUGS TO COMBAT A.D.H.D.!!

When do we want them!?

PIZZA!!! PIZZA!!! PIZZA!!! PIZZA!!

[Alonzo Bodden @AlonzoBodden]

I’m at that age where I’m never sure I closed the garage

[Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan]

Me: I just watched Airplane and need to ask you something
Brother: What is it?
Me: It's a comedy movie from 1980, but that's not important right now

[⊹٭𝚆𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚔٭⊹ @metickleu]

It feels so good on a cold morning, a hoodie fresh from the dryer…

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

It may snow in Atlanta so I just bought 47 loaves of bread and now I’m headed out to the interstate so I can get stranded in a good spot.

[Tesla @Tesla]

S3XY Light Show