Vanessa Hoffman

Wannabe polyglot

[CNN @CNN]

This turtle lost both his back legs, so veterinarians used a Lego toy car kit to build him a very fancy wheelchair https://t.co/cQi2tuHDAG

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

Hey @BachelorABC, most of #BachelorNation has to work in the morning, can we keep the 8-10 slot for actual content rather than d-list celebrity filler?

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

https://t.co/6lUWSsj3S3

You're welcome

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

@matthewcoury Is it bad tht I stopped reading when he misspelled ladder?

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

@heyyyylizzie Kids need geography so desperately

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

Best news this week.

‘Carmen Sandiego’ Gets January Premiere Date On Netflix – Deadline https://t.co/AMvDdFQc2M

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

Let's run together. https://t.co/BbDKmoHeun

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

(Discussing the "25 lbs turkey in the microwave" joke with my parents)

Dad: Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to cook a ham in the microwave? The instructions said...(complicated story)...and when you do that it burns from the inside out.

#jimhoffman #microwaveturkey

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

You always run into a few @MIISalumni at the @actfl convention :)
#ACTFL2018

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

When you check in with your mom/fellow UO alum about the Duck game:

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

(Context: I lead a running elective and I have to run with an emergency backpack when we leave campus)

Me: Ugh, this backpack is so awkward to run with.
6th grade girl: Do you have a history with the backpack? Is that why it's awkward?
#stuffmystudentssay

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

My first week of teaching ever, I put out baskets of pencils for the kids, and they were mostly gone by week's end. This year, my pencil basket is still mostly full. I consider this a huge moment in my career.

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

(An argument amongst 1st grade boys during Spanish)
1gb: Just stop talking!
1gb 2: You're making it worser!
1gb: Worser isn't a word!
1gb 3: Yeah, it's just worse.
1gb2: Ok, then you're making it worse!
1gb: Thank you. For correcting your English.
#stuffmystudentssay #grammar

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

If you don't follow @TSA on Instagram, you should. It's delightful. And informative 🤓

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

Kindergartener: How old are you?
Me: 29
K: (points and laughs hysterically)
Me: Why is that funny?
K: You're like a grown up kid.
#stuffmystudentssay

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

(The scene: Second grade girls are helping me sharpen pencils during recess)

Me: Welcome to my life guys.
Girl: This is so fun! I love your life!

#stuffmystudentssay

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

Thanks to the @MIIS community members who cheered on the student-organized @BayViewCharter Safe Schools #walkout on this very rainy day. Our students (and this @MIISalumni member:) appreciated it.
#enough #NationalWalkoutDay

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

(Yesterday a student preemtively put scotch tape over his mouth so he wouldn't be tempted to talk during a quiz)
#stuffmystudentsdontsay

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

Student: (raises hand) Everyone be quiet, I have a very important question!
(Class gets quiet)
Me: Yes?
Student: Are mermaids real?

#stuffmystudentssay
#kindergarten

[Vanessa Hoffman @vanessajhoffman]

Things I never thought I'd write on a whiteboard.
#californiaproblems