۟

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[۟ @vangaurdv]

I can only wake up on one side’a the bed. It’s pushed to the fuckin wall.

[۟ @vangaurdv]

. . . ( waiting for the pillow to be returned )

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
...

[۟ @vangaurdv]

( you’re supposed to change them ? )

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
( right in his face . ew ; when did he last change the case ? )

[۟ @vangaurdv]

Eugh. What !?

[۟ @vangaurdv]

( Throwing the nearest object at Bojan , a pillow. )

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
hey , happy to concede that you're the undefeated king of taking dick . wouldn't stand a chance against your numbers ! ✨

[۟ @vangaurdv]

More than y’ ever done in yer GODDAMNED’ life. They probably cut yer balls off in Russia ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
sorry , was * done to you in here .

[۟ @vangaurdv]

FUCK OFF 🤬🤬🤬

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
you better pray i don't considering what you did in here .

[۟ @vangaurdv]

SEE! FUCKING FREAK, I BET YOU GOT CAMERAS IN THIS DORM!!!

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
товарищ .

[۟ @vangaurdv]

Whatever you say. Russian spy.

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
you realize we can't even understand russian , right ?

[۟ @vangaurdv]

⠀
Shaddup' yes you are

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
well , neither am i , then .

[۟ @vangaurdv]

No it ain't. Cause I'm clearly not.

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
that's like me calling you british .

[۟ @vangaurdv]

⠀

﹙ sounds Russian to him.﹚

Whatever. Tomato , tomatoe. Both red.
⠀
⠀

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
i'm slovenian .

[۟ @vangaurdv]

. . .all you Russians do is lie. 😑

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
you won this one , sausage jockey .

[۟ @vangaurdv]

Squinting, He can smell a bluff. “ put it on speaker phone ”

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
" not true . we go waaay back . " they don't . " let me just —— " fishes out his phone .

[۟ @vangaurdv]

⠀
You don't know her. . . Him.
⠀

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀⠀
jordan ? want me to call them ? i bet we can arrange a match !

( <—— does not have jordan's number . )

[۟ @vangaurdv]

( the nineteen other wet wipes who won the popularity contest ? The gender bender ? What a joke. )

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

( really ? 'cause he can think of at least nineteen other people that would mop the floor with him . )

[۟ @vangaurdv]

( if Bojan were anyone else he’d be a stain on the floor by now )

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
( man , the old att was way more fun . )

[۟ @vangaurdv]

. . .

( practicing skills of patience and ignoring )

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀
i'm sure it must seem that way to you .

[۟ @vangaurdv]

WOW YER A GENIUS ‼️‼️‼️

[𝓤ᴺ͟ᴼ ‍ ‍ 𝙍𝙀𝓥𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙀 ‍ ‍ 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘿 @nimamej]

⠀⠀
man , you must really hate not being able to hurt me .