Jonno

#DONTLISTENTOVLADBUYMYBOOK #slay #vanlife #feminist my cookbook comes out in 2026!! 🧄🏳️‍🌈

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

So happy to announce I have a book coming out! ‘Vampires be Gone! 101 Ways to Cook with Garlic’. Out in 2025 in every book store ever, and every member of the Vampire High Council will receive a exclusive free copy before release! (book cover coming soon)

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@icouldrevampyou Girl who tf is tollunde?

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

Moved the recipe book release date up by 2 months! Can’t wait for you all for to try my world famous garlic spotted dick!

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

I love da club

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@gargoylenumber2 @fkuvlad My worst nightmare

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

#gerranhowell #youngdracula #thepitt @fkuvlad

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

I need a nap

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@icouldrevampyou @gargoylenumber2 DIE! He said DIE

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@icouldrevampyou @gargoylenumber2 Also the glass was empty??? Jonno #7 actually really likes beer so it was long gone before you came along

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@icouldrevampyou @gargoylenumber2 No he wanted to kill you.

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@icouldrevampyou @gargoylenumber2 Dude you already hit on him in da club last week because you thought he was me (he was the one who threw the pint glass at you, remember?)

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@fkuvlad @icouldrevampyou 💔😔

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

This hurts more than the death of my father #AO3 #AO3Down 💔💔

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

I need to stop passive aggressively putting xxx at the end of every message I send xxx

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@icouldrevampyou @fkuvlad Stay delusional babes

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

Happy (belated) birthday to my colleague/moral enemy Vlad! I hope you like this drawing I made for you, it represents exactly how I see you @icouldrevampyou 💚💚💚

#gerranhowell #thepitt #youngdracula

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@fkuvlad @icouldrevampyou FUCK YEAH ERIN GET HIM

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@gargoylenumber2 @icouldrevampyou Who said anything about clones? I pulled a Vlad and found like 12 mystery siblings who have the same funny earlobes as me! Anyways Jonno #7 will happily be your sponsor xx

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@icouldrevampyou @fkuvlad No I fully just threw the whole fucking glass in their faces

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@icouldrevampyou How exactly is George???

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@icouldrevampyou @fkuvlad Drank them?? Too busy throwing them in the faces of vampires before slaying them 👹👹👹

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@icouldrevampyou You literally can’t even talk about mummy issues

[Jonno @vanhelstink]

@icouldrevampyou Trust me, you are just as bad