Caroline

Bitch|Lover|Child|Cat Mother

[Eve @evek181818]

no I'm not gonna lie, some of that stuff didn't have to happen

[bug girl @buggirl]

“nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” ohhh someone has never had a crab rangoon or perhaps 20 crab rangoons in one sitting

[فوفو المُتَوَحِّش @mankoochie]

the american-married-to-an-italian content creation is the worst thing that ever happened to the internet

[Alan Cole @AlanMCole]

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like “wait really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.”

[monica @waystarroyhoe]

i know their a cappella cover of teenage dream goes crazy

[James Blunt @JamesBlunt]

Fire the little cunt.

[Hend Amry @LibyaLiberty]

A grocery store visit is an absolutely essential itinerary line item. You walk through aisles to see the similarities/differences in foods, as well as the way they’re packaged and promoted. Fascinating stuff.

It’s also where I get all my gifts and souvenirs. They will always be more authentic and cost less than tourist traps for local candies and treats.

[Caroline @vanillaricee]

@CalabroneDogs @LissaJoStewart Where is this magical place? The only place I've found with neighbors who all agreed to give a damn is one where the HOA fee includes lawn care. Otherwise, there are folks who seem to genuinely believe that their lawn is invisible to other people.

[lauren ꨄ @laursloml]

who wants to go to the four seasons orlando

[ape attack survivor @pissvortex]

touch his mind Lord!

[veena 🖤 @xxivorys]

my toxic trait is that i don't feel any sense of accomplishment after achieving something. just a mild sense of relief that it's done

[Andrew Lokenauth @FluentInFinance]

The root of procrastination isn't laziness, it's anxiety.

If you struggle with procrastination, read this:

[Caroline @vanillaricee]

@sp1cyybuttthole Was it Amy and Johnny lol

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

No one tells you how much of adulthood is bribing yourself with a little treat in order to stave off psychosis.

[James Blunt @JamesBlunt]

Caught your eye as she walked on by?