BARGE_PRINCESS

Less upsetti, more spaghetti

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

@JerrySawyer1995 I've only ever had fillers! But I'd for sure go locally!!!

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

The dog doesn’t actually wanna cuddle,
He wants to huf your glizzy breath @joshmorden

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

Life is so odd, I just spent the last hour messaging Merle-fucking-Allen, and he made me a painting in the process lol fuck! We just named our puppy after him so the timing is impeccable!

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

If I was rich I would rescue horseshoe crabs

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

Love the person that went far enough back into my timeline to mock a post I made supporting trans folk, and then immediately reacted “sad” to another post of mine announcing the loss of my daughter, kindly go fuck yourself sir!

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

Lol last night my son was sleep walking and he was upset about something so I snuggled him and tucked him back in and he goes “can you paint the walls black? There’s a hole in the floor you need to fix.”

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

I dunno!

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

@bran_gray Maybe they import it from Italy! (Italy, Ohio)

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

@meganshpettit Ok I had to share this with you

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

@meganshpettit I think flats ruined me. I got a bunion that has its own area code.

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

I ask my son and my niece what magical power they would want if they could have any and he goes “long fingers.”
And her response was “underwater invisible mermaid.” I’d pick the latter.

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

Today when I dropped my kid off at school, one is his friends barrelled towards us across the schoolyard, at 100 km/h and hurled his body into the metal fence and said “I’m the kool-aid man!”
To be a fly on the wall.

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

Giif me en klappe papa!

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

Now my son is offering me money to stop farting.

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

I farted and my sons goes, “Please control yourself, babe.”

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

@listenwithlexie 🙋🏼‍♀️

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

My new hobby is trying to emulate different metal screams, so if you see me shrieking in my car, mind ya business.

[BARGE_PRINCESS @vanmordor]

I am a giddy lil gal! Our puppy is supposed to be born today! Been waiting my whole life for this! 🐶