Annie forgot a classmate's name and instead of admitting it she faked amnesia episode all day. Spun a yarn about head trauma from injury. Got sent to the nurse. So that was a fun call from the school.
I told her next time do what I do: Just say "Heyyy you" and shoot fingerguns.
My daughter's really gotten into "Forged in Flame" lately and now every time someone drops or breaks something she calls it "a catastrophic failure". I showed her a new watch I bought and she said, "It looks nice, but will it KEAL?"
every time my bday gets close I remember my dumb American dad accidentally named me after a province in my mom's home country bc she died too soon to stop him
and then MY dumb ass accidentally named my twins "me" and "mother" in Turkish so I guess that's egg on my glass house
I see you #DWTS thinking you're slick stealing Todrick Hall's ENTIRE look for that Scar dance, but not like you haven't ripped off other artists before. Stealing your designs makes the constant "Big shout out to our makeup and costume design team! :)" even more insulting, smdh
Twitter recommending that I follow what seems to be literally every verified medical organization and big name doctor here is very rude. Like yes I grew up chronically ill but cmon I don't gotta keep the cdc who and fda on speed dial
Halloween costume suggestions I've received from...
Cara: "a sexy pirate"
Benny: "an enderman"
Annie: "your favorite smell in abstract form"
One of my child students: "the black swan"
One of my millennial students: "ebony darkness dementia raven way"