emerson𓅨

✮ edtwt srry ⋆♱✮♱⋆ 22 y/o (pro recovery, mentions of sh, this is a diary)

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

Talking to a guy leaner than me who’s been on T for 3 years longer and has top surgery. Sigh. We made out at the club tho.

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

Lost another 4 pounds by accident I hate it but I keep triggering myself why am I like this bruh

Censored cause the only scale and full length mirror is in my roommates room

[aria❀ @doeeyedglrl]

every day i wish so badly that i had died at seventeen

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

I’ve actually only cut myself when someone’s been home and they can’t even tell I’m doing it cause I’m in my room or the bathroom. K

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

‘All you do when you’re home alone is cut and drink yourself to death’

Not even true but ouch roommate

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

Every time my mom FaceTimes me and asks how I’m doing I just look at her and start tearing up. Alright. Alright.

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

I’m seriously doomed bro like I rlly am man

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

@autisticbish Thank u <333 I appreciate it it means a lot <3

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

Got rejected and beat my head with my phone #ImCool

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

@autisticbish Yeah this unfortunately isn’t new behavior for me so I’m used to having bruises on my head I’ll be good

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

What’d I even buy this punching bag for if I still just beat the shit out of myself over any mild inconvenience

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

It’s not even that I think I’m owed anything I just wish I could feel wanted!

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

The ‘fat rolls’ HALF OF YOU ARE SEEING IS LITERALLY SKIN. ITS SKIN. WHEN I WAS BMI 15 I STILL HAD ‘rolls’ AROUND MY ARMPITS BECAUSE ITS FUCKING SKIN YOU GUYS RELAX

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

ooooh drunk and having a good time i still neeeeeeed to die!!!!!!!!! soon!!!!!! i hope!!!!!!!

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

just used the literal last of my money to take my dog to the emergency vet cause he has a seizure in my arms for 2/3 minutes last night.

i have $25 and make below minimum wage. i’m fucked. i’m so fucked.

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

officially underweight again but at the cost of everything unfortunately

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

god i’m in so much physical pain

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

i cut myself for the blood and the scars and the pain as they heal, and i punch myself for the immediate sudden sharp pain and bruising. i’ve never really cut deep, i do have year old scars but nothing crazy. idk

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

got drunk cried and called my mom, she didn’t know i was drinking, and i told her i did coke. i’m a fucking idiot

[emerson𓅨 @vapemealprep]

i hit all the mental illness today man i’ve been drunk since 10 am, didn’t eat til 8pm and then threw it up, cut/punched myself, cried and screamed, and lowkey blew up on the person i love the most. my one day off from work well spent. i gotta kms.