Valerie Dohrer

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

My mom accidentally pinned my text thread and only my text thread, on her phone and asked me how to undo it. Sorry, that means I’m your favorite and there are no take backsies.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

I’m currently reading two different books with a main character named Lex who dreams of owning a used book store. One is great, and the other is a book that was published.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

If you could fist fight a piece of technology what would it be and why a printer?

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

My job is frequently a 40,000 Piece puzzle where all the pieces are the same color and sometimes they spontaneously combust but it came labeled in a 20 piece puzzle box so other people can’t understand why it I haven’t finished it already. Also I’m in wind tunnel the whole time.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

At hour 36/40 of travel back home from Cannes, much like Ken’s job in Barbieland is just Beach, I think mine is just Airport and Plane.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

My sibling: *Having live, human kids and and talking about milestones*
Me: The cartoon bird on my self care app
Is growing so fast! My daughter, Birbara, just discovered cherries and I’m so proud!

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

It’s some bs that me, a woman, has to work on International Women’s Day.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

Are lobotomies covered by insurance? @AnthemBCBS

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

I hate that I can make really solid to-do lists and then I will lose the ability to ever look at it again. It’s like, in my mind the tasks have been done because I have acknowledged them so my brain wants to move on.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

My apple watch thinks I’m dying because my heart rate is through the roof. Tal Bauer just knows how to write a good book, though.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

My getting ready time for the exact same look ranges from approximately 15min- 3 hours depending on distraction levels. Am I proud of this? No. Will it change? Also no.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

Sometimes I think about the early version of Facebook where it asked you to write how you knew someone once you accepted a friend request. One of the options was “hooked up with” and then it asked you to describe it with an adjective. Truly a chaotic time.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

I think my Roman Empire is that my fifth grade teacher was 27 years old, married, and seemed to have her life together and I’m over here like

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

I feel like the rule should be if you steal someone’s phone or laptop you should have to legally inherit their work. I feel like that would cut down on crime.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

There should be an ADHD library where you can check out all of the materials for your current hyper fixation without having to buy a full set up each time. Then you can just return it when you’ve moved on to the next thing so the next person can try that same interest.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

My Roman Empire is the girl I went to preschool with who was an only child and had half birthday parties.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

@Cobbler_Lotion What did you roll?

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

Does the void ever need to just scream back? Sounds like a thankless job.

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

I hate making decisions but I hate being told what to do????

[Valerie Dohrer @vdohrer]

Please enjoy this except from the journal
I kept when I was 13. “While reading a play the word John came up as in the bathroom. I would hate to be named John if I was a guy cause it’s like saying “hey, toilet”. I’ll never name my son John. Even if my husband(hopefully Sam) did”