vei

mh vent. minors dni

[vei @veinzzs]

another post deleted 🥲

[vei @veinzzs]

im just really loosing my patience i dont want to feel this anymore i dont know why i let myself keep suffering and dont just make this all stop

[vei @veinzzs]

they took down my post AGAIN oh my god

[vei @veinzzs]

i hope i get under 50kg by november

[vei @veinzzs]

one thats still healing had 4 stitches and steri strips tho i took them off after a few days and the cross one wasnt even stitched but it just shrunk that much 🥲shrinkage is SO BAD i dont even think i can post the cut but that area has been reopened alot

[vei @veinzzs]

i feel more calm rn but idk it just feels unsettling in a way just being reminded of how this time of the year felt every year prior. n idk im sitting with this discomfort but its slowly getting to me again

[vei @veinzzs]

@reyleft having scars is a love hate relationship honestly caus i personally love the way they look but its the negative judgement and stares from others which makes it hard 🥲 esp going into a career where i will face alot of criticism for it

[vei @veinzzs]

@redsg643 🥹what does this mean?

[dhee @padaikaneer]

I am so jealous of people who always have people. Wanna call someone? They have people. Need help with something? They have people. Wanna go out? They have people. Don't wanna go out? They still have people who'll come over. They just somehow have people. For everything.

[vei @veinzzs]

i dunno if anyone else has also like got examples of how cutting over old scars feels like but its alot more tough?? and also to me it just feels like im slicing though something that isnt part of me caus it doesnt rlly feel of anything??

[vei @veinzzs]

i also find now that my skin heals alot better?? probably because im cutting over already healed scars but it is also annoying because the shrinkage is so prominent now it just feels invalidating lol

[vei @veinzzs]

this was a few days ago. i lied i found one photo when i changed my dressings

[vei @veinzzs]

@reyleft but time will pass anyway! before the last few months i was acutally planning on getting a tattoo to cover up my left arm as the scars were all over 2 years old tho i was told to wait 6 more months but ofc everyone's got differnet motivations

[vei @veinzzs]

@reyleft ofc its always still noticable up close but i find that around 2 and a half years?? it fades enough that its less noticable straight away if someone walks by for example

[vei @veinzzs]

but im supposed to believe that severity doesnt matter??? when ed services reject my referal because im not significantly under weight anymore??? n no matter the depth of my sh it is still just ignored.

[vei @veinzzs]

say this say that when ive literally done all i can but just because some professionals don't want to listen it just makes it impossible because i cant refer myself to services. n im just rejected again and again and again but im supposed to change when im getting worse n worse

[vei @veinzzs]

im grateful that ive never been hospitalised long term for my mental health. ive only had like 2 times where ive had to stay for around 2 weeks but it was due to my ed. my sh has never been a concern to anyone though and i hate it but also i appreciate the freedom but i can sit

[vei @veinzzs]

told is sh is normal alot of people do it and i just have to find something else. but its clear im struggling im struggling to cope but idk i just think alot of medical professionals just dislike sh and dont take it srsly. so i hate hearing people telling me to reach out and