Heaven's_vengence

[(fan) Trey @UTDTrey]

My club signed World Champion, Andrey Santos last week & now Champion of Europe, Youri Tielemans this week

[FlickFreak_ @Drew_Scarlet98]

I found a wallet containing $18,400 in cash and returned it to its owner that same day.

Seventy-two hours later...

The police arrested me for stealing from him.

I almost accepted my fate...

Until one detective asked a question that changed everything.

[UF @UtdFaithfuls]

Now that we've got Tielemans and Santos, just need one physical athlete and it's a good midfield rebuild.

Give me Baleba and I'm a happy man.

Certain he'll be back to his best once he finally gets his dream move.

[Alice @AliceTalksFooty]

From Delap to Sesko
And now Ederson to Tielemans.

How do INEOS always fail upwards 🤣🤣

[(fan) Trey @UTDTrey]

Barcelona fans want to see Spain VS Argentina in the final, Yamal VS Messi

Then there are intellectual people like myself who want to see France VS England, Mbappe VS Kane

Knowing my luck, we’ll get Spain VS Argentina & Yamal and Messi dancing with the World Cup together💔

[Ski @UTD_Ski]

33 years without a Carabao Cup
0 UEFA Champions League titles
0 UEFA Europa League titles
0 UEFA Super Cups
0 FIFA Club World Cups
No UEFA Champions League win in 140 years
Never defended a Premier League title
No treble-winning season
Never won a domestic treble (Premier League, FA Cup, and League Cup in the same season)
Fewer Premier League titles than Blackburn Rovers

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you Arsenal football club, aka Next Season FC

[Gold🤍🌚 @GOLDBABYO]

The quietest inmate on my block was the one every guard was secretly afraid of.

He’d been there for almost twelve years. He never got into fights, never had contraband, and never raised his voice. If someone started trouble, he’d simply move to the other side of the yard and continue reading his book.

One night, while I was doing count, he stopped me.

“You should call your wife.”

I laughed.

“My wife knows I’m working nights.”

He looked back down at his crossword.

[k ⁶³🇪🇸🇧🇪🇳🇴⁴⁷ @kwandsssssss]

in 2030 just bring haaland+ 25 players who would die for him 👍🏽 sorloth OUT

[Jainal Momin @JainalMomin]

Which player gets criticized too much by fans despite consistently performing at the highest level?

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

😂😂

[PreacherKid 🇰🇪🇬🇧 @ItsGregy_]

So apparently Sheryl Gabriella trending leaks was exposed by the wife of the man she sent to who is her Gifter on her TikTok Live. Kumamake ni kumoto. Kumbe mtu anatumiwa Lion alafu baadaye anafurahisha gifter siet

[David___ @dogbogu2]

All you need to disarm Haaland is a Bellingham 😭

[Footy Humour @FootyHumour]

In a few months, this image will have a completely different meaning.

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

I was selling my old laptop and agreed to meet the buyer in a busy supermarket parking lot. When I got there, he messaged me: 'I'm in the black SUV at the back of the lot. AC is broken, come sit inside so we can test it.'
Red flags immediately went off, but I walked over anyway, keeping my distance outside his window.

He rolled it down, barely looking at the laptop, and said, "Just hop in the back seat, it’s easier to see the screen away from the sun."

[Metro @Metro_Hubs]

I’ve worked the night shift at a hotel for almost 12 years.

Most guests forget your name before they reach the elevator.

Around 1:30 a.m., a man came running through the front doors carrying nothing but a backpack.

He dropped his credit card on the desk and said, “I need the first room you’ve got.”

I started checking him in when he suddenly looked at the lobby TV and froze.

[Kobi @UTDKobi]

We signed the right guy ❤️

[Jack @CarrickBall_]

#MUFC's third midfielder should be...

A. Manu Kone - £40m
B. Carlos Baleba - £60m +
C. Bouaddi - £60m+
D. Alex Scott - £60m+