V

What better place for the pettiness and cynicism I hide irl?

[V @vernonr2]

Sure you’ve had sex, but have you seen the Dark Knight Trilogy?

[V @vernonr2]

@S_Clattenburg Thinking about naming a cat “Stevens” Good idea / Bad idea?

[V @vernonr2]

A geriatric asked why we have no printed manuals for products, immediately surmising it saves us money. Yeah, I said, and it’s a lot more environmentally friendly. He said, who cares? I said, your grandkids? His reply: what about your forefathers? Mine: they’re done with it.

[R. O. Kwon 권오경 @rokwon]

Things that are truly pro-life:
- abolishing the death penalty
- vastly improved prenatal care
- universal health care
- vaccinations
- better gun laws

Things that are deeply hateful & not at all pro-life:
- this whole fucking travesty of a misogynistic Georgia abortion law

[V @vernonr2]

If Theon hadn’t lost his D, would he have ever shown so much BDE? #GoT

[V @vernonr2]

Contributing sad singer-songwriter women to music Friends Mix playlists is just one of the many services folks aren’t looking for that I offer anyway. #selfless

[V @vernonr2]

When you see your ex is dissatisfied with their current relationship, that’s one of the times you can really vibe positively with: “there’s a time and place for everything.”

[Randall Otis @RandallOtisTV]

How has God not been MeToo’d? Mary was underage and God’s like a billion years old? #TimesUp

[V @vernonr2]

The whole beard, man bun, flannel, tight pants, leather hightop shoes look is so played out. How come it’s not going away?

[V @vernonr2]

Today for lunch I ate pasta salad with a scoop made from a croissant. Crazy? Genius? I don’t know. I was just hungry and I forgot a fork.

[V @vernonr2]

Mark Sargent in Behind the Curve is actually Bill Murray acting. He’s not even in makeup, his acting is just that good. You can tell right after he takes that picture with the kid at the conference for just a second.

[V @vernonr2]

A short memory is a blessing and a curse.

[V @vernonr2]

Did I just add the Greek keyboard to my iPhone solely for the purpose of adding “π” to an email about March 14th? Yes. 🥧🥧🍕🥧

[SimonWag @wag_simon]

Me starting a new life on Twitter #instagramisdown

[V @vernonr2]

What’s up with IG? #borked #instagramisdown #howwillwesurvivetheday

[V @vernonr2]

Just watched some canadian geese stop traffic walking really slowly across the road 😂 just another reason geese are dicks.

[V @vernonr2]

Two things: I miss living in Ballard, and I am ready to admit I found that Broad City T Shirt folded clean under another shirt. So 🤷🏻‍♂️ this is why I’m an asshole and never allowed to get angry.

[Actual Mtn @LaMontagneKenny]

If Ted Bundy can find love while being a serial killer AND locked up in prison, then SURELY I can find love while not being a serial killer, and also not in prison.

[V @vernonr2]

Why did I even watch the #SOTU? Trump’s false narratives are infuriating.