Tyler Derpen

Clinically unemployed. Chronically incoherent. Comically undercooked. Nonchalantly inadequate. 8.5/10

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

when ur busted af but
u still makin moves 🙌

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

they put my cast iton skillet thru a dishwasher
there isn’t even a dishwasher in the apartment

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME? MY WHOLE LIFE. THERE ARE NO SHARKS IN POOLS. ITS JUST A TERM FOR PEOPLE WHO ENJOY BILLIARDS RECREATIONALLY.

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

OUT OF A CANNON. EASY. NEXT

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

@MNateShyamalan Classic pizza cutter logic

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

@BernieSanders Can’t be said enough. Where does it end? Seriously

[Bernie Sanders @BernieSanders]

Republicans are so concerned about the national debt that their estate tax repeal bill would give:

$1.8 trillion to billionaires
$88 billion to the Walton family
$72 billion to Elon Musk’s family
$46 billion to the Jeff Bezos family
$0 to 99.9% of families

Total hypocrisy!

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

@romitch11 @MitchyDelta @smellyindianguy Beat me to it

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

@krassenstein NEXT UP ON BLIND DATE

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

@chipslahoyyy__ Wtfffffff 2017 edc me now has fomo forever. That’s so cool. Where can I see @BillNye irl??? You and @RLGRIME are soooo lucky wtf

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

@legotrillermoth @smokeismedicine im jerking off to martha stewart to prove this guy right

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

Growth as a human being can take many different forms

I actually use that thing to make whipped cream now🍦🙊

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

My son’s school was having issues with messy bathrooms so every month they reward the boys or girls with ice cream depending on whose bathrooms are cleaner and according to my son it’s become a prank war where they just fuck up each other’s bathroom.

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

@GODofDa617 @MphoMoalamedi Wait til they find out about “lying on the survey” lol

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

@TheLoneFool91 @MphoMoalamedi Real talk

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

@wuffalobilliams Speaking of which I just dmed u. Muhahah

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

Can you boof WD-40?

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

Ok, at least she tried!

https://t.co/2VQXHw0iVz

[Tyler Derpen @versace_tylenol]

Why are rappers always trying to make bands ?
You don’t have to be in a band
You are already a rapper
Enjoy yourself 👍

[PlaceboRx @Placebo_Rx]

🎆 GIVEAWAY 🎆
To celebrate the launch of my online store im giving away 2 controller cases for you and a friend with whatever you want designed on the back! To enter all you gotta do is
• Like 💛
• Retweet 🔄
• Follow 🐦
Giveaway ends 02/24
https://t.co/2tYNLLF878