Verucca Salt

Why I always gotta write bios n stuff? Why I can no just be? You could know if you watch and listen. Or if you already know me.

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@gbalicea @PressSec @POTUS Since the owner of the restaurant is now receiving death threats for denying this woman a meal, I'd say that would be why. Let that sink in: Death threats, for denying this woman ONE meal at a restaurant.

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@PressSec @POTUS So stay home and cook for yourself! It's better for you, your family and the other people in those establishments. I can't even swallow when I'm upset...if I'd been in there when you showed up I would have literally been choking on my meal.

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@Bobndc @PressSec @POTUS Because if she'd kept it private and between herself and Red Hen, then all the jer-er, 'Fine, upstanding citizens' wouldn't know who to make death threats against. Heaven forbid @PressSec be denied a meal. Plus, she was EMBARRASSED.

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@MsLibertyBelle_ @FLOTUS I don't love you. Please don't think for a second I am included in this "We."

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@nbc No, y'all expired a bunch of episodes while I was catching up on Season 1. Won't be watching NBC after that cute trick you pulled cancelling Timeless. #BoycottNBC

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@nbc #RenewTimeless Y'all literally got rid of the only show of yours I was watching. It should be easy to #BoycottNBC since I don't watch anything else on your network. Why don't you want to keep your viewers happy?

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@Stonekettle Any time I've noticed myself feeling anything resembling empathy for @FLOTUS , I pull up that Mexican Vanity Fair cover with that plate of jewelry, twirling that necklace on a fork like pasta, and *poof* I am cured instantly.

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@crankycook1967 @FitChefSusie @Popdust We're going to cancel our Blue Apron. We tried it for 2 weeks, and they use way too much kale and quinoa, also the instructions suck.

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@NorrathReaver @garrett_brinton @RealDesertRat @indiependent1 @lindachapin54 @mattyglesias We can't hope for any of them to do the right thing. I'm cool with the Russian-sponsored shiv.

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@chxgarcia I love shows like these. When it seems like a happy ending, I am happy. When I see what looks like buyer's remorse, I am also happy doubly so if the jilted Fiance just trashed other Americans as not being good enough to marry. Look, I'm getting entertained either way.

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@USDirectExpress Cool. Now how do I tell you I don't live at my old address anymore and get a replacement for my expiring card sent to where I do live? The customer service phone menu offers no help on that.

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@DevinNunes I think you're my cousin. Awkward.

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@FeedTheBay Is it still run by Janeen?

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@realDonaldTrump Holding you to your own words..

[Jay Hamilton @jayhamilton8321]

@SethAbramson The least believable part of that story? That that obese old man can actually, er, perform! #TrumpShutdown

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@realDonaldTrump Excuse me, but WHO wants a shutdown? Seems to me that the one who wants that is the lazy fat dude that spends more time on the course than at his desk and can't put together a coherent sentence.

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@Doreasaurus I know I'd like to see that...

[Verucca Salt @verucasault]

@UnstableGenius1 @layla_lsm @FLOTUS Every single time I start to feel any empathy for Melania, I look at that Mexican Vanity Fair cover of her with the plate of jewels, and immediately it is cured.