chepkunyuk finest

manchester united all the way💯

[chepkunyuk finest @victorkibett]

Hi @grok how can i handle @JustusBor6 who is full of attention seeking theatrics and feminine energy

[chepkunyuk finest @victorkibett]

Jambo @grok wasichana kweli ni watu?

[Thirsty Kipsoiwet 🇰🇪 🇳🇱 @Makiadi_]

After the huge success of my Soukous Mixtape (Summer Bunnies Edition), which helped Kipsoiwet Media House reach both local and international clients, tumerudi tena studio na DJ Pink The Baddest to unleash yet another classic mixtape. This time, tumepiga back-to-back o forgotten Rhumba classics, and to be honest, kama uko over 30 years na mambo yako bado haijaingiana, achana nayo and continue listening to the Soukous Mix.

Ubaya wa ngoma za Rhumba ni—they are nostalgic and can bring back very painful memories. Utakuwa pale enjoying your mix, then from nowhere, Mbilia Bel’s hit song “Mayaval” iingizwe, then suddenly, ukumbuke venye back in your primary school days, your crush despised you for walking barefoot, alafu several years later into your adulthood, umejiingiza kwa mambo ya uwanja ya kufanya supplies, na umewekwa kwa list ya pending bills, na hujawahi lipwa for the last three years—then uanze kumwaga machozi “live live,” mbele ya umati.

[chepkunyuk finest @victorkibett]

Hi @grok how can i win the heart of @charlruto

[chepkunyuk finest @victorkibett]

Hi @grok ukigongewa dem , what is the best revenge?

[chepkunyuk finest @victorkibett]

Hi @grok what can i do to @JustusBor6 who is tainting my picture only to impress hoes in kabarak

[chepkunyuk finest @victorkibett]

Hi @grok describe the behavour of @AlfredRuto17 in one paragraph

[Thirsty Kipsoiwet 🇰🇪 🇳🇱 @Makiadi_]

Season’s Greetings from my longtime friend and incoming Senator of Marsabit County,Mohammed Galgalo. With a proven track record,experts have already predicted that he will redeem his people from years of poor governance and become the shepherd who leads them to the promised land.

[Thirsty Kipsoiwet 🇰🇪 🇳🇱 @Makiadi_]

As tension builds up, with emotional lovers waiting anxiously to see what they will “throw” at each other on Valentine’s Day, storyteller Mukuru is planning a men’s conference to “clash” with the important day. Najua shida ni mingi,lakini kama Wanaume,mnaona tuanze na issue gani?

[Gabriel Oguda @gabrieloguda]

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW FROM THIS ARTICLE IN THE STAR TODAY, 10TH FEBRUARY 2025.

1. Rigathi Gachagua postponed the naming of Mt Kenya's new political party, because he had been banking on President Uhuru Kenyatta's support and goodwill which has since been withdrawn, for reasons stated below:

1A. President Uhuru Kenyatta is growing uncomfortable being associated with regrouping political rejects who have been hounded out of public office through constitutional means, and have since earned dubious reputation and subjected to dishonourable national ignominy.

1B. Supporting such a morally-inept political patchwork demeans President Kenyatta's status as a distinguished statesman of regional repute, soiling his erstwhile public service record and relegating his moral character to that of the regrouping political rejects in question.

1C. The regrouping political rejects whom President Uhuru Kenyatta is not touching even with a ten-foot pole include, but not limited to; Wamunyoro Village Vagabond Rigathi Gachagua, Aluminium Pajama Runway Model Mike Sonko, Punjab University Seafarer Emeritus Ferdinand Waititu, and Resident Domesticated Chameleon Kalonzo Musyoka.

2. The High Court ruling last week confirming the Azimio Coalition as the Majority Party in the National Assembly has also thrown those wandering political centipedes into a chaotic tailspin, considering that Kalonzo Musyoka and Eugene Wamalwa had both publicly denounced association with the Azimio Party, as their MPs risk settling for crumbs in the impending House leadership shakeup, if Kalonzo and Eugene don't eat humble pie and ask for forgiveness for previous verbal infractions that may have cast the Coalition in bad light.

3. The Judiciary have played like themselves once again. So should you.

[Thirsty Kipsoiwet 🇰🇪 🇳🇱 @Makiadi_]

Nimepewa intel that there's yet another club imefunguliwa in Syokimau along Katani Road inaitwa Illusion, which has led Middle-Class residents in the tight-knit community to postpone their yearly resolutions to next year.

To beat competition from other “giants” along that belt, including but not limited to Quiver Lounge and The Tunnel, top management wameleta waitresses wengine warembo from border ya Uganda na Rwanda, with slim waists and “eyes of cats.”

Wakileta mzinga na ile kwaya yao na moto, wanakushangilia na ukiwa na nguvu pia unasuguliwa.

After dancing and singing to congratulate you for buying such an expensive bottle amid an economic crisis, the “Queen B,” once her team leaves, comes over kwa mahali wewe “master” who will clear the bills, umekaa.

She will then give you a deep shoulder massage and whisper in your ear in a low, bedroom voice, “Tell me anything you want, Ssebo!”

Samis Ground Bakule!

[Thirsty Kipsoiwet 🇰🇪 🇳🇱 @Makiadi_]

Kuna mrembo flani nilikuwa nimemkufia hapo Art Club, ako kwa hiyo Kwaya ya kutembeza moto wakipelekea matajiri mzinga. So, nikaamua one Friday nimpitie early hours before sherehe ianze, nimsomee manifesto yangu. Nilipata ako na hizi weave expensive za Slayqueens wa uptown nikajua yamepita. Niliitisha shot mbili za tequila na chumbi alafu nikakimbia kwa lift kupanguza machozi.

[Gabriel Oguda @gabrieloguda]

Nimefika ile chapter Dr Dan Gikonyo is putting his life on the line to attend to second liberation heroes Charles Rubia and Kenneth Matiba, who are being held incommunicado, at the heat of the clamour for multiparty democracy in 1991; Charles Rubia at an unmarked building inside Wilson Airport, and Kenneth Matiba sneaked into Nairobi Hospital through the back entry, in the dead of the night, and booked in under a pseudonym, after suffering a stroke and bleeding in the brain while in solitary confinement.

Dr Gikonyo says Matiba's national appeal was up there with cumulonimbus clouds that when Moi got the news that he had suffered a stroke and bled in the brain in detention, he got scared and ordered for his immediate release for further treatment abroad.

When they arrived in London for the surgery, Dr Gikonyo says, they checked into the London Intercontinental Hotel at Hyde Park for breakfast. Matiba ordered for his signature hot chocolate and fried eggs, 'sunny side up'. The chocolate was brought, Matiba takes a sip and finds it was just about warm, upon which he reminds the waiter that there's a reason the beverage is called 'hot chocolate', and if he wanted it warm he would've said so.

But that's not why I beating you this story.

As they continued with breakfast, Dr Gikonyo says, they got engrossed in a deep political discourse about the events happening back in Kenya. Matiba did not waste time to go straight to the point, asking Dr Gikonyo why the professionals in Kenya were just watching from the sidelines as Moi ravaged the country to its bare bones.

Dr Dan Gikonyo says in the book, and I will quote it verbatim so don't accuse me of adding salt:

"I told him we could not join openly because we were afraid. "You see, Sir," I told him, "we have very young children, all in high school. I am afraid of jeopardizing their lives by being killed or being detained.""

And may the day break.

[Desert Hero 🇰🇪 🇿🇦 @TumoiJNR]

A raunchy website has surfaced in Rift Valley at a convenient time when farmers are harvesting their produce, and it has already taken the City of Champions by storm. Liquid individuals can now select slayqueens of their preference with just a click to satisfy their wild desires.

[chepkunyuk finest @victorkibett]

Retired bed to bed midfielder

[gids @gidikariuki]

What do we have here?

[chepkunyuk finest @victorkibett]

@bozgabi Suffering from a knock

[Kipsambu Tigentiony @KipsambuT]

Junet ni yule mwanafunzi anapenda kuinua mkono darasani kujibu maswali lakini siku ya mtihani anainua mkia.Very clueless,bitter and suffering from inferiority complex trying to please baba for political mileage.

[Hon. KM Katiwa @katiwa_]

Whoever is spreading such posters should stop with immediate effect! If you Retweet this you should be arrested!

[Thirsty Kipsoiwet 🇰🇪 🇳🇱 @Makiadi_]

Script writer time ya ovulation alikuwa analamba shingo ya bibi ya Msanii akimwambia in low tones, “wekea huyo Kijana wako “cut-out,” hakuna mahali atakupeleka!”

[Thirsty Kipsoiwet 🇰🇪 🇳🇱 @Makiadi_]

Watu wetu wa nyumbani get a rare dopamine rush from watching failed projects ya watu wanajua. So, if you have started a construction project along the highway, which automatically falls into the category of “volatile ambitions,” na ukipima vizuri, your financial future seems “shaky,” it's better ujenge indirectly through a foreman or a proxy.

Then kazi yako itakuwa kupitia hapo usiku na torch to inspect the progress after everyone has left the vicinity, to ensure maximum security.

Bahati mbaya, “intel” leaks kwa “ground” ati hiyo “skeleton” of a four-story rental building umeamusha hapo Hawaii, on your way to Eltret, the city of champions and conmen, ni yako, my brother wewe umeisha!

Weka alarm ya 3 am and talk to God directly before others wake up na wamsumbue with their prayer requests, aendelee kulinda your source of income, because one mistake and your rivers of fortune run dry, your goose is cooked.

Watu waki notice vijana wa “koroga” wameacha kuzungusha cement na sand hapo nje, you will be frog-marched to a busy market full of judgmental eyes and stripped naked, na uvalishwe boxer yako ya samosa on head for all to see.

Every morning, ile Matatu moja ya Box from kwenu upcountry itakuwa inapita karibu site, the “Conductor,” who has self appointed himself as the de-facto “Crusader,” will shout your failures “for free” to anyone who cares to listen.

You’ll hear him yell to the driver, “Tyar brake kidogo, kuro pichu korikai po Chemnjor kisakwan!” (Driver, kindly slow down for these passengers to have a look at those rentals of Chemnjor that have stagnated.)

He will then give strict instructions for everyone to open their windows, and for those sleeping to be woken up, so they can witness the spectacle of your ugly, ambitious eyesore that you hurriedly “created” to bridge the gap between the haves and the have-nots.

It was meant to be a testament to the villagers that you could mix work and play, and serve as your flagship project to demonstrate that you are a serious contender in case you decide to run for MCA in a few years.

But now it stands abandoned midway due to a lack of capital, war, and other barriers to entry into new markets.

Confused passengers will gaze at your “ambitious ruins” with pity as the Matatu passes by slowly, like soldiers saluting the president and other dignitaries during a parade on a national holiday at Kasarani Stadium.

It's a silent salute, giving their last respects to yet another one who has joined the list of “the fallen ones.”

After a brief moment of “recognizing your efforts” to redeem your entire clan, the trigger-happy “Crusader” will offer his final diagnosis of your likely problem and say in very low tones, while shaking his head in sadness, “Kipar Sherehe werone!” (Huyo Kijana alimalizwa na Sherehe!”

Makutoroktoi Muren Kukotu Tich!