El Capitan

CEO at Dunder Mifflin Inc.

[R A W S A L E R T S @rawsalerts]

🚨#BREAKING: It’s been revealed the lone juror who voted to convict Lindsay Clancy of murdering her children was the jury’s only person of color, a Black man.

[ACD MMA @acdmma_]

L security man, he was about to add 200K PPV buys to the fight 😭

[Juice 🧃 @Juicecryptic]

nigga didn’t fix anything 😭

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

Trent Williams has Myles Garrett in HELL 😭

[Ocho (Saints⚜️ 20-0) @OchoReacts]

Niggas said Myles Garrett never played in front this many people lmaooo

[foxfoxboyboy @foxfoxboyboy]

ITS MY AUTISM I GET TO CHOOSE THE SPECIAL INTEREST

[No Jumper @nojumper]

Aaron Rodgers says his ex-fiancée Shailene Woodley asked him permission to f-ck a guy before they get married.

“A couple days after [the proposal] she tells me, ‘Before we get married I gotta go f-ck this guy.’”

[melanin on 𝕏 parody account @melaninpalace]

Head to toe 10/10 🙌🏾

[BHENtel @TheBHentel]

Jalen ain’t wrong

[non aesthetic things @PicturesFoIder]

Aaron Rodgers claims Shailene Woodley asked to sleep with another man days after his proposal

“A couple days after [the proposal] she tells me, ‘Before we get married I gotta go f*ck this guy"

[1980’s Finance @1980Finance]

The aura of being a CEO in the 1980’s

[Brandon @Benito_D3l_Toro]

This the shit u find for $29.99 at Burlington in the "Active Young Men's" section

[CNN @CNN]

Tightening global copper supply, robust demand from the AI boom and uncertainty over tariffs are all whipping up a frenzy for the red metal. It’s sending prices soaring to their highest levels ever. https://t.co/klfsGPLzNy

[My Mixtapez @mymixtapez]

Owner of NBA YoungBoy’s Lamborghini claims YB rented his car to shoot a music video at Grave Digger Mountain, broke it, and left it on top of the mountain:

“I spared some other details because I don’t want to get murdered over this.”

[Mark Kaboly @MarkKaboly]

Aaron Rodgers is emptying the chamber in his final tour, and I have to admit, it's definitely entertaining

[Geechee Uncle Elroy @chaosghost]

Ice Spice has done amazing things for my algorithm

[Lloyd Legalist @LloydLegalist]

I feel a bit bad for cat owners putting up posters for their lost cats.

Your cat isn't lost, man. Cats don't get lost.

Your cat left you.

[DJ Akademiks @Akademiks]

Lil boy last time u tweeted me next day u got locked up for months begging to get bail. I along w everyone on here tricked u off the streets and ended ur streaming career. GG. Never forget I had ur clown ass chimping out then caged. Checkmate.

[EverythingCar_X @EverythingCar_X]

Bro pulled the $50k boat through that slum like it’s nothing