Queen of the Harpies

That rare combination of up to something and good for nothing.

[Queen of the Harpies @villagedickhead]

New family member is settling in well.

[Queen of the Harpies @villagedickhead]

After seventy days in hospital fending off acute liver failure, pneumonia, sepsis, kidney damage, an upper bowel blockage and malnutrition, I am finally out. Go me, not dying and all.

[Queen of the Harpies @villagedickhead]

@alexeptable It’s for employers to burble on about an employee assistance service while still penalising you for time of off sick due to MH and everyone else to focus on anxiety and depression but none of the “scary” mental illnesses.

[Queen of the Harpies @villagedickhead]

This is what I have to take in the morning alone. I call it The Gauntlet.

[Queen of the Harpies @villagedickhead]

Grifter/scam artist. I come across as kind of nice and slightly pathetic, so I could probably scam some well meaning people with money.

[ɗɾɑʗʘɳɑʗτιʗʊȿ ��‍☠️ 🐝 @Draconacticus]

@brianmoore666 Knock Knock

Who's there?

Knock Knock

I said, Who's there?

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock

- the underside of Darren Grimes' school desk ALLEGEDLY.

[Dean Burnett (@drdeanburnett everywhere) @drdeanburnett]

[Me, a Millennial, hanging the stuffed head of a guest room on my wall]: "You know what? I'd do it again"

[Queen of the Harpies @villagedickhead]

There once was a lizard queen
Whose wealth was quite frankly obscene
Castles she stayed in
Eating mice, shedding skin,
On bailing out her nonce son she was keen

[Pointless Letters @pointlesslettrs]

Regret to inform you all that the poetry is still coming thick and fast

[Winifred Beecher Howe @katemccabesays]

Energy companies might be taking all my money this winter but joke’s on them…the pound is worth jack shit right now. So ha ha. Have all my NOTHING COINS.

[Paperback Paradise @paprbckparadise]

a nightmare

[Queen of the Harpies @villagedickhead]

Day 2 of nil by mouth. They fucked up my endoscopy yesterday because they didn’t give me the extra sedation needed, I gagged and threw up, and they accused me of eating beforehand (I hadn’t). So now I have to do it again at some unknown point tomorrow after yet more starvation.

[Queen of the Harpies @villagedickhead]

@alexeptable Oh of COURSE it’s Totnes. Full of posh hippies, the worst kind of hippies who are like “I just had to get free of the rat race, you know, so I borrowed a little from my parent and gave it all up to open this ludicrously expensive vintage store.”

[Gillian Branstetter @GBBranstetter]

Need cis people to realize the guy questioning the scientific judgement of children's hospitals for working with trans kids and the guy who spent last week arguing mermaids are scientifically white are the same guy

[Queen of the Harpies @villagedickhead]

Haven’t been watching the funeral but please tell me one of the pallbearers stumbled, she fell out, and everyone went “Whaaaaaay!”

[Queen of the Harpies @villagedickhead]

Haribo Tangfastics, best to worse:
1. Foamy dinosaur whatevers. The foam offsets the tang.
2. Dummies or whatever they are. They have a ring!
3. Cola bottles. A classic.
4. Cherries. Look, they’re fine but there always seem to be shitloads left at the end.

[Republic @RepublicStaff]

A royalist asking “why do they think they’re better than the rest of us?” without spotting the irony.

[Dana Schwartz - on hiatus @DanaSchwartzzz]

Why is anyone wasting their breath arguing that a "mermaid shouldn't be black" when instead you could be talking about the time Hans Christian Andersen showed up as a guest at Charles Dickens's house and absolutely ruined his life for a month straight

[Queen of the Harpies @villagedickhead]

At some point, silly-hatted poo guzzling enthusiast Tom Six has seen footage from The Queue™️ to see a death basket and been like “get me my production team, The Human Centipede 4 is go!”

[Dan Douglas @dandouglas]

idk man this just feels like a step too far